


The long way to fix our hearts

by Aliceinwonderland



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Happy Ending, London, M/M, Parties, Semi-Public Sex, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, alcohol and lots of hugs, exes to friends to lovers, larry side, lovely friends, tension moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-02-23 10:27:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23543416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aliceinwonderland/pseuds/Aliceinwonderland
Summary: After a year in New York Niall comes back to London, hoping to find a new job and forget about the last year, his break up with Zayn and the unsuccessful travel searching for his dreams. A few days later he sees Zayn at a party at his friend's house and he didn't expect to have so many feelings again, things started to be a mess when they start to be friends with benefits. They just want to be happy, but maybe not in the same way.Or an Exes to friends to friends with benefits to lovers where their feelings are a mess, making things complicated between them and their friends with lots of hugs and parties.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne/Original Male Character, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18
Collections: One Direction Big Bang Round 3





	The long way to fix our hearts

**Author's Note:**

> I want to say thanks to Jessica (Pridesobright on tumblr) for choosing my summary and making a beautiful drawing of one of the scenes of the fic thank you so much. Then to Daniela for helping me with some scenes and doubts I had, thanks! and to summer of lou for correcting my fic in the last moment, after I had problems to found another beta. Thanks! and to my amazing friends on the gc, for listening to me, for making me smile and for been there for me thank you so so much!
> 
> I hope you enjoy my fic, it was a long way till I upload it. Is the longest fic I have ever written. Also, thanks to the mods for organizing the fic fest, enjoy!

Niall was arriving at work while the water drops from the rain were heavy dropping in his umbrella. The building in front of him was full of windows with grey walls peaking through the glass. He looked at the entrance, everyone was talking on his phone or to another person, and he sighed. That was his second day there. He loves working with one of his friends, and his co-workers were kind and funny, but it wasn't what he always dreamed of and what he studied for four years.

His friend Louis helped him find the job after he arrived back in London. It wasn't something he asked for, but it helped him so much, and he was grateful.Niall closed his umbrella and walked past the receptionist desk, Nicole and Oliver were there talking, and they waved at him with a big smile.

He waved back at them and continued his walk to the elevator, his boss walked near him but didn't say anything, so he kept walking. It had been a week and a half since he arrived back in London.

A year ago, he moved to New York to find a better job. Maybe a career in journalism or the film industry, but he didn't find anything and ended up working in a bar. Even if he loved it, he didn't leave his old life behind to follow his dreams just to end up working in a bar. It was something he could have done in London, and he wanted more.

He worked two times for a blog as a freelancer and once in a celebrity gossip website for two days, but that was all the experience he had from his journey there. He hated his life most of the days.

One day after being sad for more than two months and just coming out to go to the shop and to work at the bar, near his house, he decided to move back to London. To his home, friends, and family even if that means working in something completely different from his dreams. He tried it, and it didn't work, but now he wants to be home and forget about the past.

At least about his last year.

The elevator sounded, and as everyone got inside, he found himself stuck between a woman and a man typing something on his mobile phone. He leaned on the wall and breathed deep to calm himself. The song playing in the background wasn't helping. The worst part of his departure from London was the break up with Zayn; he didn't want to go with him. They talked about it, and he thought it was a mistake.

"You have so many opportunities here. You don't have to go there; our whole world is here Ni" Zayn had screamed at him while they were arguing about it.

The day he left, Zayn left their old house before he could say goodbye or anything else, and Liam drove him to the airport. It was sad and painful, and they didn't talk much since that day, the only moments they had a little chat was in their group of messages on the phone and the two times they showed each other the past year.

The doors of the elevator opened, and he saw Louis in the corridor. He was reading a paper while walking to his office. He waved at him, but his friend didn't see him. He was the one who found the job for him; they have known each other since high school.

Louis was the first one who talked to him on the first day of high school in their first year; they spent a lot of time together the first weeks until they started playing in the football team and became part of the drama club where they met Zayn, Harry, and Liam.

When Niall arrived back in London and asked his friends to help him find a house and a job, Louis was the first one to tell him about the job vacancy at the law firm he was working for in the last five years. It was an assistant job for one of his co-workers, Tim, who was in the office next to Louis and wanted someone who can work and be calm, in contrast to him being too nervous and can work hard because he had a lot of work to do.

"Hey, Lou. Good Morning "Niall patted his shoulder, and Louis turned to him surprised.

"Hey Ni, Good morning to you too. How was your first day? I didn't see you yesterday evening."

"I had to work with Tim in his office for an hour about a contract; I left at eight."

"Oh, It was your first day. I'm sorry you have to stay so late. We end at six most of the days. But I'm glad you're back with us in London. We missed you, "Louis gave Niall a little hug with a big smile.

"Me too. We have a reunion later. See you then, "Niall said.

Louis started walking to his office, but then he stopped and walked back to Niall in a hurry " You should come home someday for dinner. And this Saturday we have a party at home, you should come. It will be calm, and you need to distract yourself."

"I don't know; I'm in for dinner, it could be great. But the party, I don't know."

"Ni, you've been hiding at home for the last weekend and most of the days. You are coming to the party, no discussion. Deal?"

"I don't know, Lou. I don't want to see him again. It would be too much."

Louis patted his arm and pressed his lips together in a thin line. He wants his friend to be happy, to smile, and start a new life, a happy one. Louis sighed and looked at him a little bit worried. "Okay, but we want you to come for dinner one day. Without Zayn, promised me you would come tomorrow night."

Niall smiled, happy, and excited to have a great dinner together.

"Okay, I will be there. See you later. Thanks for everything. You're the best friend in the world "Niall said and walked to his desk.

The next day he got dressed an hour early, he was nervous but didn't know why. Probably because Harry was Zayn's best friend, and that was a mess. They were all friends since their teenage years, and he knows how much Zayn means to Harry.

They knew each other well. Before Harry and Louis started dating, almost a year and a half after their meeting at the drama club, they spent a lot of time together. They also traveled together a few times in the last years, always for job things, but that didn't make things less complicated.

He loves Harry; he is a great person, one of his best friends even and he knows Harry tried to make Zayn understand why he wanted to leave London and Niall appreciates that.

But he was worried that they would end up in a discussion, arguing about Zayn or their problems. Even if he knows his friends would never do something like that, he can't calm himself enough to forget about that stupid thing.

He looked at himself in the mirror; he chose a pair of jeans and a simple white t-shirt with a jacket, he thought of maybe changing his clothes again but tried to forget about it by taking the keys to his apartment and walking outside his flat and to his car. He arrived at his friend's house in twenty minutes, and after parking and going upstairs; he rang their door. Harry opened it, and Niall started sweating a bit, but Harry smiled at him and gave him a big hug.

They didn't see each other in the last days and when he arrived back in London, Louis and Liam were the only ones at the airport to greet him. He saw Harry two days later when all of them helped Niall move things to his new house, after spending two days in Liam's house.

"Hey Ni, how are you? "Harry said, and they walked to the living room.

"Good, better now that I'm in London with my friends, "Niall answered, and he heard voices from the kitchen. Louis arrived at the living room with Liam behind him carrying a bottle of wine and some glasses while Louis put a plate full of vegetables and something which looks like fish in the middle of the table.

"Hey, Li, "Niall said," Didn't know you were coming today."

Liam gave him a little hug, and they stood up around the table.

"This smells so good, " Harry said and picked a slide of fish from the plate.

"Don't do that, "Louis said while sitting at the table near his husband while they sat around the table.

"We miss you, and this is the first time we have dinner together in a year. I wanted to be here," Liam said while sitting next to him.

Niall smiled and passed his arm around Liam's shoulders while they waited to start eating.

"How are you doing? Any new news I didn't know? " Niall said and scooped some of the food on his plate while Louis filled his glass with wine.

"Well, tomorrow I have to interview Ed Sheeran on the radio, "Liam announced, and all of them smiled.

"That's great, "Niall said.

"Yeah, it's incredible. It's been a while since I talked to Ed, and I miss him so much, "Harry said," we need to meet him soon."

"Well, we wanted to interview him since he announced the new album last month. We talked the other day, and he told us that he was free tomorrow, so we are going to ask him some questions, and he is going to play his new single. I'm happy; he is so kind, "Liam explained.

"I'm so happy for you, and I love his new single, "Niall told them while they continued eating.

The rest of the dinner they talk about their jobs. Harry was writing new songs for some artists who requested them. Liam was happy in the new radio show he started last month after being part of the radio for five years, he had the promotion he always asked for and deserved. Now he has his own radio show.

They talked about the past when they were in high school and university, studying and spending too much time partying and having fun with the rest of the class. At some point, Harry talked about Zayn and Niall, try to act normal, casual, and relaxed.

"I talked to him yesterday; he is going to travel to Milan tomorrow. He needs to do some photos of a campaign for a fashion magazine, but he will be back for the party, "Harry explained.

Niall looked at him and then at his almost empty plate, picked a slice of fish and remembered one morning when he was walking to work after arriving in New York when he saw a picture of Zayn in a metro station, promoting a cream. He was a famous model, the one that a lot of people know and recognize in the streets or at a party. Zayn loves his job, mainly because it gives him time for his other revenue streams, taking photos and selling his paintings online. He also has an Instagram page to promote his pictures and paintings, managed by him and sometimes by his agent.

When he saw the photo in the station, he didn't want to watch it, to enjoy the beautiful picture and his face, it was too much at that time and the month later when he passed by the image was gone, just when Niall was ready to look at him. When it doesn't hurt the same, and he was able to enjoy his face, his beautiful eyes, or his tattoos—one of them about him, a beautiful sun with the day of their first date. Niall didn't want to think about it, so he eats the rest of the plate and then drinks the rest of the glass.

"You have to come to the party, it's going to be great, and it's been a lot since we partied together, "Liam said.

"I know, and I miss it, but I don't know if it's a good idea, "Niall admitted and looked at Harry.

"Come on, Ni! Don't let your nerves and your emotions put you away from the good things, "Louis said with a worried expression, "we will be with you, together. Like we did since high school, remember?"

"Best Friends Forever" shouted Niall and Liam at the same time.

"Forever, "Harry repeated" together."

"Okay, I will come, but I don't want to stay up all night and do crazy things, okay? "Niall said, unable to believe himself and his friends.

"Well… okay, "Louis said, laughing," Can't wait."

Louis leaves the table for a second, and Liam went to the bathroom while Niall looked at his mobile to do something. Then he looked at Harry, the air was full of tension, and he sighed.

"I'm sorry, "Niall said, taking Harry by surprise, who looked at him waiting for something else to know why he was saying that.

"Why? You don't have to be sorry for nothing, "said Harry when Niall didn't continue.

"For not wanting to be with him in the same room, for dividing the group like this. I'm sorry is just that I don't know if I'm ready to talk to him and have a good friendship, I don't… I want to be his friend again, but it is difficult."

"Hey, it is not your fault. Things like this happened, and if you are happy is all that is important for me. I want you to be okay now that you are back."

"Thank you; you are the best. Did he say anything about me these days after I returned?"

"We talked the other day after you arrived and he asked me about you. He was surprised you were back to stay, but he was worried about you. He wondered if you were okay. But nothing else. You deserve to be happy, and you can find another person in the party, maybe."

Niall smiled, not sure if he wanted to be with someone else if he can love someone else like he loved Zayn for the last few years. It was unique and beautiful, and he didn't want to think about it too much. Just have a happy time with his friends.

"I want to have a fun time at the party, I'm not ready for that, but I'll think about it. You're the best, thank you so much "Niall answered with a big smile.

"We are best friends, and I want you to be happy. Also, the party is going to be so fun. I invited some friends from the music industry, some singers and composers. Maybe you can talk to someone about your time in New York and find a better job.”

Harry was a famous songwriter; a lot of singers and bands pay a lot of money for him to write the songs and help them with their singing part. He was also a photographer, and sometimes he works with Zayn in taking and selling their photos, but that was a hobby for him more than anything.

"A better job sounds great," Niall said while Louis was entering the living room again with a jar of water and some cookies," but I love my job. I know Tim can be too hard sometimes, but he is amazing and funny. I like what I'm doing, and it's all thanks to you."

"Yeah, but he works too many hours. Besides that, I'm happy that you love your actual job. I'm glad we are all together again here, "Louis admits with a big smile.

When they left their friend's house, Niall was smiling, relaxed that everything was well, and they had a great time instead of being tense all night, he loves that Harry was kind to him despite being Zayn's best friend of the group. He loves that, and most importantly, he felt like the time they spent apart didn't change anything with them, the intimacy and the good memories. Everything was like in the past, and he loves that.

Some days later, he was in the parking lot in front of Harry and Louis's house, near the stairs trying not to think about Zayn and the fact that they were going to be in the same space for a lot of time.

The last time they saw each other was four months ago when Niall came back to London for a week to relax and be with his family and friends. They saw each other for like one minute, in Liam's house, just saying to each other some Hellos and polite things, nothing too intense or similar to a friendship.

It was weird and sad, and he left moments after that, but he wanted to enjoy that night. He walked to the entrance door and saw two people talking and walking beside him. The door of the house was open, and he walked by smiling and doing deep breaths to relax himself a little more.

The house was full of people, two girls were talking at the entrance, the music was loud, and everybody was smiling and laughing. When he arrived at the corridor, someone put his arm around his shoulders.

"Ni, I'm glad you came, "Harry said next to him.

"Of course, there are a lot of people. It's crazy."

"I know we haven't done a big one since you left last year. I want to do it so bad, Louis is in the garden, and I think Liam is with him or with someone else. I'm not sure."

"This is amazing; I love it."

"See you later. Have fun and drink "Harry waved at someone and moved his arm to walk away.

Niall walked to the living room and grabbed a glass from the bar counter next to the window, where a young waiter was serving drinks and cocktails. Then he turned around to walk to the garden, and he saw Zayn in the corner talking to a guy he didn't know.

He was gorgeous, his eyes were bright, and his hair was a little bit longer than the last time he saw him, just how he loved it. Zayn was smiling and looking at the other person happy and relaxed. He loved his outfit, a pair of black skinny jeans and a blue t-shirt with some color lines on one side.

He took a sip from his drink and looked away from him, he found Liam in the garden talking to a guy, and he walked towards him, happy to be with a friend and forget about his nervousness and Zayn being next to him.

"Hey Ni, you came, "Liam gave him a big hug" This is Dave, I know him from work. This is Niall."

"Hi, nice to meet you, "said Niall," this party is so big, I love it."

After some minutes of talking about their jobs, Dave left, and they started talking and laughing by remembering the old days. Harry and Louis joined them with drinks and smiling some minutes later. After a second, Harry left the group, and Niall saw him talking and laughing with Zayn and the same guy from before.

Niall started to think about if that person was dating Zayn, or if they were more than friends and less than a couple, maybe friends with benefits or something similar. The other guy gave a kiss to Zayn on the cheek and hugged him before he left and left Harry and Zayn alone.

Niall took a long sip from his glass and looked at his friends talking; he got in the conversation to distract himself from his own thoughts of Zayn and the other guy. At the end of the night, all of them were happy but so tired.

"I'm going home, I'm tired lads "Niall said and moved towards the corridor.

They were in the living room, some of them yawning, others lying on the couches, and Liam and Niall stood up from the couch near the door with tired expressions. Zayn was in one of the couches, lying next to Louis, but they were all so tired that Niall didn't care about him at that moment, he just wanted to sleep and forget about the rest of the world for some hours.

"Me too, I'm going home to sleep for a week, "Liam said and made all of them laugh a little.

"See you tomorrow. The party was crazy. I love every second of it, "Niall said and walked towards the door.

Liam appeared beside him, and they left the party.

"How are you? "Liam asked when they left their friend's house and started walking to the street to catch a metro.

"So tired, but I love it, I missed this kind of party and you. It was challenging to be alone in New York, I know it was a stupid mistake, but I had to try it.

"I know, I understand. It's okay. "Liam hugged him, and they left the house.

The next day Niall wakes up at noon, tired and with a horrible headache. He walked to the bathroom, and after having a shower, he walked to the kitchen. He was so tired that he just wanted to go back to bed or the sofa.

He poured himself a cup of coffee and walked to the living room. He sat on the couch and started thinking about last night, and it was challenging to see Zayn again and to think about him dating someone else or watching him flirting with other boys. But it was great to be with friends, just having a fun time and forgetting about the rest of the things.

By the end of the night, he was relaxed and didn't care if Zayn was in the same room as him. He only wanted to go home and sleep. Maybe with time they can be friends again, he wanted him to be happy and being friends can be a good thing for their group. He needed to think about it.

On Monday he arrived at work two minutes before time and Tim was already waiting for him to help him with some papers. They spend the morning writing contracts and talking to clients.

At midday, Niall saw Louis waiting for the elevator and ran to him before it arrived.

"Hi "Niall said and pat him on the shoulder.

"Hey! Did you enjoy the party? "Louis asked.

"Of course, it was amazing. Can't wait for the next one, "Niall answered with a big smile.

"Same, but we have to wait some time, weeks or a month. Harry is going to Los Angeles for a week, and this time I can't go with him. I'm going to miss him a lot, and I hate it, "Louis said.

"You didn't tell us anything at the party."

"They call him this morning, there are some contracts he needs to sing and he is going to meet a new singer who wants to buy some of his songs for his first album. He is excited, and Harry loves that "Louis explained," and some friends of a band wanted him to help them with the album and the mixing."

"I'm glad he is going to sell more songs; you are not alone; we can do things and go out at night. Or play FIFA, if you wanted, "Niall said when the elevator arrived, and they got inside.

"Can I ask you something? "Niall asked and regretted it the next second.

He couldn't stop thinking about Zayn and that guy from the party since he woke up the day before, he wanted to know more, but at the same time, he wanted to forget about it, about him and the tension between them. He wanted things to be easy.

"Of course, What is going on in that mind of yours? "Louis asked with a smile.

Niall took a deep breath, he wanted to know if Zayn was seeing someone, wanted to know who was the guy he was close with at the party the other day and if they have something serious or was just a friend. He wants answers, but Niall didn't want his friends to think that he is in love with him again. Because it wasn't true, he was just curious, and he tried to forget about that topic.

"Nothing, it's okay. Sorry. We can talk later, "Niall said, and the elevator doors opened, but nobody entered, so they were still alone.

"Come on; you can tell me anything. Are you having problems with Tim? I can talk to him."

"No, "Niall denied it with his head," no, no, it's nothing like that. I promised."

"Okay, but you can talk to me about anything."

"I know, I think I'm just nervous about a couple of things. I will tell you, promised. What do you want to do this week?" 

"Harry is leaving tomorrow, so anything that keeps me busy. Tomorrow evening we have a reunion, but later we can call the rest... Liam and go to a bar or something."

"That sounds great "the elevator stops, and they walk to their floor" can't wait for tomorrow night. See you later.

Niall patted him on the arm, and then walked to his office, sat on his chair, and started working just like nothing happened. He loved his friends because they can trust in each other, and they are always kind and funny.

The next day, Niall arrived at the reunion five minutes earlier with Tim, they sat on the right side of the table and waited for the others. Louis came two minutes later. He sat next to him with his assistant, a boy called Newt.

The next hour was boring and passed slowly, Niall had to hide a couple of yawns, and when they finally ended, he stood up with a smile.

"See you in ten minutes in the hall? "Louis asked.

"Yes, did you call Liam?

"Yes, I sent him a message this morning. He will be waiting for us at the bar."

"Can't wait to see him. See you in a bit."

Niall walked to his office, and after picking up his things, he ran to the elevator. The hall was full of people, some wave at him while he was searching for Louis with his eyes. He saw him leaving the elevator, and they smiled at each other.

They arrived at the bar fifteen minutes later, Liam was at the door looking at his mobile with a bright expression.

"Hey lads, "Liam said when he finally saw them," how was your day?"

"Busy, so busy, "Niall said.

"And a little bit boring," Louis added "I can't wait for the weekend. But now, let's have some drinks and forget about it."

Niall smiled, and Liam put his arms around their shoulders, pat their arms and walked to the door. Inside was warmed, and they felt relaxed. After ordering some drinks, they sat around a small table with people walking around them and others dancing.

They spend the next couple of hours talking and laughing.

"Did you talk to Harry after he arrived? "Liam asked Louis after the first drink.

"Yeah, he arrived well. He has a lot of work to do, so I don't think I'm going to call him tonight. I miss him. I hate being apart for so long, and I wish he could do it from here. But he can't."

"It's okay, we are here, "Niall said," and there are a lot of things we can do."

"You are the best. Let's talk about another thing, please."

"Okay, plans for tomorrow evening? "Liam asked.

They continued talking for an hour more, and then they walked outside.

"I think I'm going home. Tomorrow we have to wake up early. I'm tired, "Niall announced," see you at work."

"Me too, thanks for tonight lads," Louis said.

"You don't have to say thanks, "Liam announced," but I love it too. See you tomorrow night."

They walked in different directions, and on his way home, Niall saw two boys kissing and walking together, and he couldn't avoid thinking about Zayn. He wants to know more about his life, and he hates that they can't be in the same room without being tense or filling the room with it and being nervous. He hates it, but he didn't know how to solve it alone.

He knows his friends would never force him to be next to Zayn, in the same space, or talk to him if he didn't want to, and he loves that. But he wants things to be better.

The next day he barely saw Louis at work, and at midday, Louis texted him to inform him that they were going to be at home. Eating pizza and playing video games. He wants to say yes. But he was super tired, and he sent him a text saying he will be there for the next night. Just not tonight. The second later, someone was knocking at his office, and Louis appeared there.

"You have to come, "Louis said, sitting in front of him. "It's been a while since we played FIFA together and all that. It will be better with you."

"I know, but I'm super tired. I'm so sorry, "Niall said.

One of the reasons he didn't want to go was because he was sad and wanted to spend the night at home, sleep a lot and forget about the world for a night and the other was that if he doesn't go, they can invite Zayn and maybe other people too.

Louis looked at him, worried and sad, but Niall smiled.

"I'm sorry, I promised I would be there tomorrow night. Liam is an amazing player; you can play with him."

"Is there another reason? Is everything okay? "Louis asked.

"Yes, just that I'm tired, "Niall answered with a sad smile.

"Promised that you'll think of coming."

"Promised!"

"Okay, see you later. Don't work too much, "Louis said and left his office.

Niall rested his back on the chair and took a deep breath, he wanted to go, but at the same time, he wanted to be at home and rest, forget about Zayn, the world and his job. Just him and a film or something.

He spent the evening thinking about it. When he started picking his things, to go home, he thought of the two plans again and decided after some doubts that being with his friends would be better for him than staying at home. Alone and sad.

So he walked to Louis' office, said hi to his assistant and knocked on the door. Louis was about to leave it when he opened it.

"Hey, is the plan for tonight still a thing? "Niall said," I want to go."

"Yes, "Louis smiled excitedly", of course. We can go now, Liam is going to arrive in an hour, but Zayn asked us if we were gonna do something today. I can tell him not to come."

"No. It's okay. We can be in the same room. We are adults. It's okay, "Niall smiled, not sure of his words.

They arrived at Louis and Harry's home some minutes later, and after ordering pizza, they waited for Liam and Zayn in the living room.

"Are you sure you are okay with Zayn coming? "Louis asked again.

"Yes, we have to learn to be next to each other again. Maybe we can be friends again, that would be amazing. I want him to know that. It's complicated."

"I know he didn't hate you. Maybe you can start that friendship today. Just forget about it if that's better. We are just going to play videogames and laugh, just a friend's night."

Niall smiled; he loved that plan. He loved his friends and being with them, and he didn't want to lose that, so he must learn to be Zayn's friend again, or at least something similar if Zayn didn't want to be his friend again.

When Liam and Zayn arrived Louis hugged them, Niall gave Liam a short hug, and Zayn looked at him but didn't do anything apart from saying Hi. Niall smiled at him, but Zayn was serious, and he tried to smile again, but it was weird and tense.

Niall was about to say something to him when they heard the bell rang, and the pizza came some seconds later. They sat in the living room. Niall was next to Liam and in front of Zayn and Louis on the floor next to the couches.

He looked at Zayn, he returned the gaze, but they didn't talk to each other much for the next half an hour while they were eating their dinner. Then they put on the video game, and Louis played against Niall and then against Liam. The two of them lost.

"I'm the best, "Louis said," but you're great too."

They laugh, and the tension around Niall and Zayn started to disappear.

"I'm next, "Zayn said.

"I think I'm going to drink something, "Niall said.

"There is water in the kitchen table, and juices and beers in the fridge. Take what you want." Louis said.

"I want something too, "Liam said.

"I want a beer, "Louis announced," let me help you."

"No, I'll go with him, "Liam said," Will be back in a second. Don't start until we arrive."

Niall stopped up next to Liam, and they walked to the kitchen.

"Are you okay? "Liam patted him on the shoulder.

"Yes, this is a great night, and I'm having fun."

"It is. But are you okay with Zayn in the same space? "Liam asked, looking at him with an expectant expression.

"We need to be in the same room again. I wanted to be his friend again; just I don't think he wanted that too. At least for now, "Niall said and took the beers from the fridge while Liam took the water jar.

"I think you should talk to him. I'm sure Zayn wants to be your friend again."

"That would be great, and we need it. I wanted the past to be the past. Just that, but It's difficult. I understand that. I want to be okay with him. To be friends, to laugh, and all that. Just friends."

"That sounds amazing "they leave the kitchen" now, let's beat him and win that game."

Niall laughed, and they entered the living room. At the end of the night, Zayn's mobile melody rang, and he took it with a smile. Niall tried to focus on the game and his drink, ignoring Zayn's expression.

When he put his mobile away, and they changed the videogame, Niall looked at him for a second. His beautiful eyes were bright, and he was happy. He loves that expression; he loves seeing him so happy even if the reason is another person, or his boyfriend or girlfriend.

At the end of the night, they left the house and walked downstairs to their cars. The parking wasn't big, but it was enough for a couple of cars. Niall walked to his car, and when he was passing next to Zayn their hands brushed for a second and Niall felt something on his chest, he pressed his lips and moved to his car.

"See you, drive safe, "Niall said and opened his car.

"See you, you too. Love you, "Liam said and waved at them.

"Same, take care, "Zayn said and closed the door of his car.

Niall gave them a smile, waved at them, and entered his car. When he arrived at home, his last thought before falling asleep was Zayn.

The next day they decided to leave the next plans for Friday. The next day after leaving his job, Niall went to the supermarket to do some shopping because his kitchen was empty and he needed food.

He was in the vegetable section picking some eggplants and tomatoes when he saw Zayn in front of him. He was in the same section, doing some shopping with the reusable bag in one hand and picking a tomato with his other hand.

He looked at him for a second, he was wearing some white and blue sweatshirt, his hair was a mess, but he was smiling. He decided to put some eggplants in a bag and go to him, at least to say hi.

He grabbed his plastic bag full of things and walked towards him. For a second he wants to go away, run home and hide under his sheets for the rest of the day but he wants to say hi, to try to be his friend again and more important to stop making his friends feel bad for inviting him to their nights or when they have plans.

They need to be friends like in high school, like in the past. When they could be together and laugh for hours, without tense and problems around them, they need to try at least.

"Hi "Niall's hands were almost white for how hard he was holding the supermarket bag, hoping for Zayn to say something and trying to leave his nervous feelings in the back of his mind.

Zayn looked at him, surprised. For a second, when their eyes met, the world looked brighter, and Niall just wanted to be there with him. Smiling and next to Zayn.

"Oh, hi "Zayn left the vegetable he was holding in his place and looked at him again, surprised and tense.

"Hi, I need to do some shopping too. I like this supermarket; it is so clean."

"Yeah, me too, "Zayn said without looking at him, and Niall realized how tense the situation was.

"We need to talk; I want us to be friends. We need to be friends again; this tense situation is horrible. I hate it, and our friends don't deserve it, "Niall said and took a deep breath.

Zayn looked at him, and for a second, they stayed in silence. Then Zayn bitted his lip and shared a sad smile.

"Our friends don't deserve it, that's true. I hate the tense moments as well when we are all together, it's horrible. But being friends won't be easy. I don't know… If I can do it."

"Please, I know I screwed it up, but I want to fix our friendship. Come on, please, "Niall begged, looking at him and then at the vegetables next to them.

Zayn moved a little, and Niall thought he was going to leave, but he looked at him with a sad smile.

"We can try, I hate the tense moments too. I have to go. See you on Friday, "Zayn walked away, leaving Niall alone in the middle of the section.

When he arrived home, he realized that at least they agreed to work on their friendship again, and he hoped that the tense moments were going to be soon a thing of the past. He loves that.

On Friday evening, he left work early and arrived at home excited for the night. He had a shower and started dressing in front of the mirror. Nearly twenty minutes before he was ready. He picked a pair of dark blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and a leather jacket. He loved his outfit, and his phone started ringing while he was fixing his hair.

"I'm in front of your house, "Liam announced.

"I'm ready, be there in a second. You're the best."

Niall smiled and started walking to his house front door. Liam was waiting for him inside his car, and they waved at each other.

"Thanks for coming, "Niall said" I'm excited for tonight. It's going to be great."

Liam was always the one who drove and didn't drink at most of their nights, some nights, he changed with one of them, but Harry and Liam were the ones who did it the most. Niall was also part of that plan before he left for New York. But it's been a while since he did it.

"Me too, we need to pick the others, but then we are ready for the party, "Liam said, and they laugh.

Liam puts the radio on, and a song starts playing in the background while they talk. Louis was the next one; he was outside waiting for them.

"Hey lads, I'm ready for tonight, and Harry will arrive tomorrow morning. So let's party, "Louis announced.

They picked Zayn and Niall was smiling when they were arriving at his house, he realized that it was going to be the first night since they decided to be friends again. He was so gorgeous, Niall looked at him with a smile while Zayn walked towards them.

"Hey lads, how are you tonight? I'm excited, "Zayn said, and Liam started driving," Harry texted me this morning, he told me he is going to arrive at ten tomorrow morning."

"Yeah, I talked to him before they arrived, and he is so tired. I wish he could travel less. But now let's party."

Niall shared a look with Zayn. It was quick, and without a smile, but it was something. They arrived at the bar a few minutes later. It was full of people dancing, and the music was loud.

They order some drinks and walk to the dancing area and spend the next hour drinking, dancing and laughing.

"I'm going to order another drink, "Niall announced.

"I want something too," Zayn said, "I can go with you, do you want something?"

"Yeah, another please, "Louis said, and Liam repeated the same a second later.

Niall felt a little nervous, but he shared a smile with his friends and walked to the bar counter, the waiter was busy, so they had to wait a while. Niall rested his hands on the table, and when he moved them, their elbows touch for a second.

Zayn looked to the other side, and Niall called the waiter again. This time the young guy saw them, and they ordered another round of drinks for them.

"I'm having a great time, "Niall said while they picked drinks.

"Me too, it's been a while since we party like this. I like it "Zayn looked at him and then started walking towards their friends.

Niall followed him and the nervous he felt moments ago was gone, he looked at Zayn in front of him and thought that maybe things really could be like before, like when they were friends. That was all he wanted, or so he thought.

The next day Niall woke up at half-past ten tired and hungry. He spent some minutes in his bed, remembering the night before, the dancing, the smiles, and the laughs they shared. When Liam drove them home, he and Zayn were sitting in the back of the car while Louis was in the front seat reading some messages from Harry and talking with Liam.

They were in silence, Zayn was half asleep, but Niall was resting his back in the seat, relaxing. He falls asleep the moment he falls on his bed with a smile and thinking about Zayn.

His mobile buzzes while he was waking up, and he took it from the nightstand, it was a message from Liam.

" _Good morning! Any plans for today or tomorrow?_ "

" _Go back to sleep Li, it just ten in the morning. I'm still sleeping_ ," Zayn replied the second later.

" _I just woke up_ ," Niall texted them while laughing.

" _I woke up an hour ago, but I'm so tired. Harry just arrived; we can meet tomorrow_ " Louis answered.

Niall laughed and left the mobile on the bed while he went to the kitchen for a cup of coffee and something to eat. He walked back to the bed after breakfast and found a lot of new messages.

They decide to meet tomorrow evening for a chat, to eat something and maybe play FIFA again or something similar, and Niall thanks them for that plan. He wanted to sleep for a week. He was so tired. He turned around in bed and put the tv on, some series. He spent half of the day in bed and the other half of the day on the couch, watching a movie and laughing.

The next day he woke up much better, with lots of energy and so much happiness. He arrived at his friend's house at five o'clock, ready to spend the next hours relaxing, talking and watching a film.

He parked the car in front of the house and heard another one approaching him. He got out of his car and saw Zayn doing the same next to him. They share a look and a smile.

"Hi, I thought I was the last one, "Niall said, walking towards the stairs and the front door and near Zayn.

"Me too, I was talking with my agent and forgot about the hour."

"Any new important projects? "Niall rang the bell and waited.

"Yeah, some new things."

Zayn combed his hair with his hand and looked at the door. Harry was the one who opened it, and he smiled at them. It was a big smile, even if he seems tired.

"Hi, "Harry gave them a little hug and let them in," I'm glad you're here. Liam is already here. He is in the living room with Louis."

Niall started walking to the living room when he realized that Zayn and Harry didn't move and were talking about Harry's trip to Los Angeles. When he arrived at the living room, Liam and Louis were in one of the couches and turned around to greet him.

"Hi, any ideas for today? "Niall asked, sitting on the couch with them," I'm so much better than yesterday, full of energy."

"Me too, "Zayn said, and Niall turned around to see him sitting on the other couch with Harry," I was so tired. I'm glad we didn't do anything in the end."

"We were talking about my trip "Harry announced" It was great, I signed two new contracts, and I have to write some songs, but I'm so happy. Also, next weekend we want to do another party, a small one."

"Yeah, just us and some other friends. No famous people, just us, "Louis said," do you like the idea?"

"Yes, of course, "Liam answered," It will be fun, and I can't wait."

"Same, your parties are always the best, I love them, "Niall said, "I'm already excited. Let's play and beat Louis at FIFA."

The rest of the group started laughing, and Niall looked at Zayn, he was laughing, and his eyes were a little close. Niall stared at his lips for a second, then he moved his head a little, and he rebuked himself for that. He didn't want to be with him again, not in a relationship, and apart from that, he knows Zayn didn't want anything like that with him after all that happened between them. Friendship was the best option.

At some point, Zayn's mobile started ringing, and he looked at the screen with a big smile, left the room for a few minutes, and Niall couldn't stop feeling a little sad. He wanted his friend to be happy, but seeing Zayn like that with another person, it was a bit weird.

Niall stood up to go to the bathroom just when Zayn got in the room again, their eyes met, but Niall tried to smile and hide his nervousness, then he walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

He looked at himself in the mirror, he looked nervous, his hands started shaking and his eyes were a little red. He needed to relax, to think about another thing, and enjoy the rest of the day with his friends. He began to believe that seeing Zayn like that, happy and with a big and bright smile, wasn't a bad thing. He repeated that in his mind a few times.

Niall wanted to be his friend, to be able to enjoy their time together, and being happy for him was a good thing. When he arrived back at the living room, they were talking while Louis connected the video game, and Niall sat in the same place, between Louis and Liam.

He avoided looking at Zayn for some time. Then they helped Louis and Harry with dinner, some salad, and a pizza. Niall was cutting some lettuce when Zayn appeared next to him and started cleaning some vegetables for the salad. They share a smile.

"You don't have to do this, "Louis insists, "but thanks for helping. You're the best friends."

"You don't have to say anything, "Liam said," we are here to help. Not just eat."

"True, "Niall said," and I love helping you. Next time we can meet at my house so that we can change the place and I can cook."

"That sounds great," Harry said.

"I learned who to cook while I was in New York. At the bar I was working at, the chef was so lovely, and he taught me some things. I cook a lot since I was alone a lot at home, "Niall explained, remembering his time there.

"That's nice. Can't wait to see what you can cook for us, "Liam said," and we can help you."

"Yeah, and we are happy that you are here with us and not alone anymore, "Louis said and patted him on the back.

Niall smiled at them, Zayn was still next to him, and he was smiling at the clean vegetables in his hands. When they finished, they sat around the kitchen table while eating the salad, waiting for the pizza in the oven.

"I missed being altogether, "Liam said," this is great. Just us, like in college or high school. I love it."

"Yeah, me too, "Louis said," we are a great group."

Liam mobile buzzes in the table, and he looks at the screen with a big smile but leaves it there without reading the message.

"Oh, that smile. Are you seeing someone? "Louis asked," if that's true, I'm so happy."

"Lou!, It's nothing, really, "Liam couldn't stop smiling.

"Oh, you looked happy. So Happy, "Niall insisted.

"Let's talk about another thing, please. There is nothing here," said Liam.

They laughed for a second and then they started talking about another thing. Niall knew there was something, but he won't insist more about it. Liam had terrible relationships in the past; his first lover left him for another person after four years together. The last one he had was two years ago, with a guy he met at work and lasted only two months before they realize the relationship wasn't going well and end it like friends.

They eat the pizza in the living room while watching a series, and then each of them went to their houses. The week was busy, they didn't meet any of the days and barely saw Louis at work apart from the lunch break they did together on Monday and Wednesday. The rest of the days were boring, and when it was Friday, Niall was thrilled.

He picked his things and then walked to Louis's office, the door was open, and he stepped inside.

"It's Friday, "Niall said, almost screaming, "Can't wait for tomorrow."

"Me too "Louis walked towards him," This week was so long. I can't wait to sleep tomorrow and then party a lot."

They left the office while laughing and walked to the street together.

"See you tomorrow, sleep well, and you don't have to bring anything. "Louis reminds him," stay safe."

"You too, see you tomorrow, "Niall said, and he started walking towards the station.

The next day he arrived at the party half an hour before it started. Louis was in the kitchen preparing the drinks, and Liam and Harry were in the living room, cleaning and moving some things.

"Hey, are you excited for tonight? "Louis asked when Niall joined him in the kitchen.

"Yes, so excited. I love small parties too. Also, I thought all of us were here. Helping, "Niall said, trying to ask about Zayn without being too obvious.

"Yeah, Zayn had something to do, but he is going to arrive on time. And the rest of the guests will come at any moment, "Louis answered and looked at him.

Niall helps him with the bottles, and they move them to the living room, leave them on the table and start helping Harry and Liam. When the house was ready, the first guests began to arrive, and Niall couldn't stop looking for Zayn.

His friend arrived at the party on time, after a couple of Harry's close friends. When he saw him, he felt relaxed, and he started talking with the rest of the guests. He met a girl named Emma, one of Harry's friends from his photography hobby and who explained some interesting things to him about his skills with the camera.

Then he talked to another guy, and a boy called Jay, one of Louis' friends from home. Who was in London working for a music company in his law department. They talk about work and their experiences in that field.

Then Niall walked to Liam, who was talking with Zayn in the garden. The music was so relaxing, and they could speak without being loud or screaming.

"Just meet two new people, this party is the best, "Niall explained," I love meeting new friends."

"Yeah, me too, "Zayn answered," I'm going for another drink, want something?"

"No, thanks, "Liam said," I'm okay."

"I'll go later. I'm okay for now, but thanks, "Niall said, and he noticed that Zayn was smiling at him.

"I'll be right back "Zayn disappeared inside and left them in the garden.

"How is your work? Any news? "Niall asked.

"Nothing new, just some album launches and a couple of new songs, "Liam answered," this is great."

Two hours later, Niall was ready to go home, so he walked towards the corridor to pick his things.

"I'm going home, "Niall announced to his friends," the next dinner at my house. Deal? I'm going to call a taxi."

"I'm going too, "Zayn announced and left his empty drink at the table," we can share a taxi if that's okay."

"Yeah, it could be great."

"I'm going to stay a little more, be careful, "Liam said and patted them on the back," and stay safe."

Niall waved at them and walked towards the front door, when they were both outside Niall felt all the drink he had in his body. He was happy, smiling like a stupid kid, and he saw Zayn behind him doing the same.

He was biting his lips, and Niall started imagining how it could feel to kiss him again, to feel those hands touching him. He closed his eyes for a second, then he opened them again and stopped walking.

Zayn walked beside him, but his eyes were on him. They stared at each other in the middle of the stairs. Niall looked at his eyes, their hands touched, and their fingers caressed each other's hands for a moment. Then they were smiling and heard a car outside.

Niall took a deep breath, and he knew he needed to think clearly, but couldn't, not with Zayn so close to him looking at him like before and with all the drinks he had dancing in his body.

The second later they were kissing and Zayn was pressing his body to the wall. Their lips move at the same tempo. Niall put one of his hands in Zayn's back and pushed him more to him and put the other in his arm.

He felt Zayn's hands in his neck and waist. Then he moved his lips to kiss his neck, and Niall closed his eyes and rested his head on the wall behind them. It was more than what he was dreaming of having with him.

Niall opened his eyes and moved his head to kiss him again, he tasted like alcohol, but it was the most delicious thing he had tasted in his life. He wanted to be in a more private place, just the two of them.

He felt his crotch interested, and he could tell Zayn was interested too in the same way. Niall moved apart to get some air and started kissing and biting Zayn's neck. He wanted to move his hands to his bum and then to the front part, but he was afraid he was going to walk away and looked at him, annoyed. And he didn't want that.

But before he could think more about it, he felt Zayn's hand reaching his bum, he stopped kissing Zayn's neck and moved and took a deep breath. He moved his hand in the same direction, and it was like a dream. Like the dreams, he had when he moved to New York the first weeks, the first months with images like that, the two of them together.

They started kissing again, this time more slowly and feeling each move of their lips and tongues inside each other's mouths. Then Zayn moved his right hand from his bum to his neck and the left one to the buttons of his pants. Niall did the same; he didn't want to think about it, just enjoying the moment, even if that means regretting something tomorrow. He tried to live that moment, with all his body.

He felt Zayn's hand unbuttoning his pants and then move inside his underwear. Niall did the same but had to stop when he left Zayn long fingers touching his skin and wrapping his dick with them.

Niall closed his eyes then waited for his hand to move; the first strokes were slow and then fast. He focused on unbuttoning Zayn's pants to try and last longer, but when he touched his skin, Zayn stopped moving for a second, as if all the feelings were too much for a moment. They looked at each other and kissed.

Zayn started moving his hand, and they came out seconds after that. Then they heard voices upstairs and the door being opened and closed. They fix their clothes and then share a look.

Niall was a little dizzy and happy at the same time, Zayn didn't smile, and it was weird. They walked to the parking area just when a couple left the party and arrived at the stairs and then at the parking area of the house.

When Niall arrived at home and falls to his bed, he hides his feelings in the back of his mind and tried to sleep. The next morning he woke up with a smile until he remembered everything that happened the night before at the stairs.

A lot of questions started to fill his mind, what happened? Why? Wasn't Zayn dating someone or something? What was that? Did Zayn remember what happened?

Niall rubbed his eyes and sat in his bed; the air was heavy for a second. He took a deep breath and then a long shower. He needs it; he needs to relax and to stop thinking about that.

When he left the shower, he looked at his mobile, but no calls or messages or emails. Nothing. He poured himself a cup of milk and picked some cookies, then he walked to the couch, put on the television, and wished to calm his mind and relax more until he could start thinking about what happened and how to talk about it with Zayn. They need to clear what happened between them, talk about it and he didn't know how to do it. Or how to tell someone what they did. He felt like the bad guy, and he didn't do anything wrong.

He spent the morning watching television and then the evening thinking about last night until it was too much and he needed a distraction, so he started watching a film, and then he prepared his dinner and some meals for the week.

The next day at work, he saw Louis at the hall, and he waited for him near the elevator. The day before he thought of telling his friends his moment with Zayn, but he felt that maybe it wasn't a good idea to tell your friend that you had sex in their stairs near them in their house, so he decided to keep it to himself for now and he hopes Zayn did the same. Maybe he can tell Liam, but not that day.

"Hi, did you arrive well? "Louis said," everybody left a while after Zayn and you left."

"Yeah, I arrived a few minutes later and safe "Niall smiled", It was a great party. We need to have dinner at my house next weekend or on Friday. So we can change the place, and I can cook something."

"Yeah, I remember. We can talk about it this week "the elevator arrived and they got inside alone", Harry has some work to do and we have a busy week. Liam said something about his work too, I don’t remember well. I think it was enough for a while. No parties for a time."

Niall laughed a little, it was a wild night.

"Of course, we can talk about it another day. It could be great to have some days off. To relax "Niall admitted", It will be great."

"Yeah, but for now we have a lot of work. We can have that dinner on Sunday. Just us, chilling on the couch and nothing else."

When the elevator stopped, they were on the right floor and Niall walked outside, happy to be with more people and near his office. He was holding his bag nervously, the images of the last Saturday night with Zayn were stuck in his mind.

The kisses and the touches were still so present in his body, he needed to start working and focus on another thing or he would start being crazy.

"Talk later, we can eat together, "Niall said and they walked to their offices.

"Yeah, see you at lunch. Have a nice day at work "Louis said with a smile and walked to his office.

Niall spent the rest of the morning working, focusing on contracts, deals and other company things. At lunch he walked to the lunch room, two floors below, and tried to find Louis but after looking for him for some minutes he decided to sit alone and eat.

When Louis arrived, he was stressed and tired. He sat in front of him with his box of lunch and a bottle of juice.

"I’m so tired, I want to go home."

"What is going on? "Niall asked worriedly.

"Nothing, just the same problems. One of my clients is having a problem and we had a meeting but didn’t solve anything. I just want to scream at him, if he listens to me more this wouldn’t be happening. We have another meeting later."

"I’m sorry, I know Tim told me this morning but I don’t know if we will be going. But we can meet later. Today I will be off soon, I think and I hope. Let’s talk about another thing "Niall suggested.

"Yes, please. So, we can talk about that dinner. I need time to relax and forget about the world for some days. I want holidays."

"Me too, It’s okay. I like your idea of having dinner this Sunday, but we can do it another day. If you prefer and we need to ask Liam and Zayn."

"Yeah. Tomorrow evening he is going to take some photos through London with Zayn. He texted me this morning, apparently, they talked about it today. "Louis told him", I love their photos, I hope they take a lot."

"Me too, they are beautiful "Niall remembered Zayn and Harry’s photos well, they were so good and people loved them.

"Yeah, we need to talk about it. Sunday is a great day but let’s wait till the others say something."

That night when Niall arrived at home it was only seven and he was tired. He took a long shower, made a pizza and tried to watch a movie. But he couldn’t focus enough so he went to bed and tried to sleep but he couldn’t stop thinking about Zayn.

He moved around his bed without being able to fall asleep for an hour. The next day he woke up with time so he decided to stand up so he could have breakfast calmly and watch television. The rest of the day was boring, work and more work with just half an hour to eat. He saw Louis during lunch but nothing more and it was stressful.

At the end of the next day he decided to change his clothes and go for a walk to distract himself. He walked outside his flat and in one of the coffee shops he passed by he saw Liam there with a guy, with blue eyes and brown short hair, they were talking and smiling. Liam's eyes were bright and his expression was beautiful. He thought of saying something but he decided to go home and make dinner, leaving them alone. It was Liam's decision to say something about it and if he didn’t do it it was because he had a reason. Probably the same reason he thought the other day when his friend told them to talk about another thing because it was too much for him to handle.

His other relationships end up in a disaster, some in really bad terms. He was so happy for him, and hope they will meet him someday. The next day they decided to make dinner on Sunday evening and meet on Saturday to help Harry and Zayn choose some of the photos to sell between the ones they took, that were a lot, that they needed to sell. He was happy to help his friends but that also means he has to see Zayn again, and he didn’t know what to do or say or if it is a good idea to ask him to talk about what happened or let it pass like it was just a night, something that broke him a little. He started to think that maybe he should have asked Louis for advice or maybe Liam’s.

On Saturday morning he woke up early again, this time with the nervousness running through his body. He took a shower but didn’t help. He had breakfast and then went to the supermarket, he reached the vegetables section and remembered the moment he had with him. After what happened he didn’t know if it was a good or weird moment, he didn’t think about it in the same way. He thought it was a good moment that led them to be friends again but that made things different between them. Now he wasn’t sure what they were.

That evening he arrived with time to his friend’s house and when he entered he heard Zayn’s voice, he was already there and Niall took a deep breath. His hands shook a little but he forced himself to focus on another thing.

"Are you okay? "Louis asked when they were walking to the living room after he closed the front door.

"Yeah, just tired from this week's work but happy to help "Niall answered", I love their photos."

"Yeah, me too. Liam will arrive in some minutes. This is going to be fun."

When they entered the living room Zayn was there, near Harry with a lot of their photos on the table. He was gorgeous, as always and he was wearing a green shirt and a pair of skinny blue jeans with his blue glasses. He took a deep breath and smiled.

Liam arrived two minutes later and they started sitting around the table and choosing the photos.

"Okay, so we need to choose ten pictures to sell. But there are fifty photos or maybe more, "Harry explained.

"I think we have more, but yeah it will be great if you can help us choose because we can’t decide "Zayn explained and looked at Niall and then at the rest of the group.

"Okay, let’s see "Liam said and rest his hands on the table to start looking at the pictures.

Niall and Louis were near him and all of them started looking at all the pictures and deciding what photos were better. Niall hid his hands under the table for some minutes, he knew had to leave Zayn out of his mind but he was losing. Zayn's voice was beautiful and he was gorgeous plus they were sitting in front of each other, something that wasn’t helping Niall to be okay and left the nervousness and the tension in the back of his mind.

"I love this one "Louis said and put the photo in the middle of the table for everyone to see.

It was a photo of a street, with clouds in the sky and some people in the distance.

"It’s so beautiful, "Liam said.

"Yeah, you need to choose this one. Who took it? "Niall asked them.

"Me, it was me "Harry said.

"This one is beautiful too "Liam said.

It was a photo of a park, a couple was kissing on the right side and a tree was on the other side.

"Yeah I love it "Louis said.

"That one is mine "Zayn announced" I love it too. But maybe it’s better without someone on it."

"Yeah, probably for legal things "Harry said.

"Don’t worry about it, I’m here for it if something happens "Louis said", like in the past."

"Yeah, and me too. I think I’m learning a lot about the lawyer business and it’s amazing. I didn’t think about it as I do now, I like it, "Niall said with a smile.

In that moment Harry's mobile rang and he walked outside the room to answer it, some minutes later he called Louis who ran to him and left the others alone.

"I think I’m going to get some water, I’m thirsty "Niall announced.

"Me too, I go with you "Zayn announced it and they walked outside the living room.

Niall thought it was the best idea to talk to him about what happened the other day, they needed to clear things up and talk about it.

Niall opened the fridge and took the water jar then he turned around and saw Zayn picking the glasses from the kitchen drawer. Then they looked at each other and Niall felt the tension being built in his body again and filling the room. He looked at the table, then at the water and placed the jar on it.

"We need to talk about what happened," Niall said.

Zayn left the glasses on the table and looked at him, bite his lip and took two steps towards him. Then he looked at him and opened his mouth to say something but close it again.

They heard Harry and Louis voices outside the kitchen, talking about a meeting in the corridor.

"It was a mistake, I drank too much and well… It was a mistake "Zayn smiled but Niall's heart broke into a million pieces.

"Yeah, we need to forget about it "He lied", I’m sorry too."

"Don’t worry, I think the same. Let’s continue with the photos."

Niall smiled but let Zayn leave first. He stayed there a little more, calming himself and the desire he had to cry all day and leave. He walked to the living room where the others were talking and laughing and sat in the same place as before.

He looked at Zayn while they were picking photos, their fingers touched once and Niall had to bite his lips and force himself to keep the tears inside. Half an hour later he couldn’t wait more.

"I’m going home, I’m tired but it was fun and I’m happy I was helpful "Niall stood up from the table and his friends looked at him surprised, it was only half past six.

"Are you okay? "Louis asked him again that evening and Niall looked at him with a fake smile.

"Are you sure? It’s only six "Liam said" I have to tell you something before you go."

"What is it? "Niall asked curiously.

"Well, I met someone a while ago and I want you all to meet him. He is great, "Liam said.

"Omg, you have a boyfriend that’s great "Louis said with a smile and patted him on the arm.

"Yes, I want to meet him. We want to meet him "Zayn said excitedly", I’m so happy for you. What’s his name?"

"He is James and he is a teacher. He is so nice and kind and funny "Liam said with a fond smile and bright eyes.

"Awww, our little Li is happy and growing up "Louis joked and everyone laughed.

"Thanks, do you care if I go with him to the dinner tomorrow? He wanted to meet you and we had three awesome dates."

"Yeah, of course, "Niall said", you can come at eight or so and we can talk before dinner and meet him. That’s great, I’m glad you met him. Can’t wait to know him. See you tomorrow, really. I’m tired."

"We can do another thing for a while, maybe talking or going out for a drink if you want. You seem sad, is everything okay? "Harry asked him worriedly.

"Yeah, don’t worry. See you tomorrow, I hope you and James like what I’m going to cook "Niall walked to the corridor" have a fun night."

His friends waved at him and he left the living room, avoiding Zayn's gaze and he heard steps behind him. He saw Louis running to him in the corridor.

"Are you okay? You looked sad. You should stay, we can do another thing "Louis insisted.

"No, it's okay. I’m not sad really. Just tired and I have to prepare for tomorrow. I can’t wait, see you tomorrow "Niall opened the door and left Louis looking at him.

He heard the door moving behind him but he turned around and saw Louis near him in the stairs.

"Did something happen with Zayn? "Louis asked.

"Yes, but it’s nothing. We can talk tomorrow, it's okay."

"Okay, call me if you need anything. Are you sure you don’t want to talk now? I don’t care if they have to wait "Louis seemed to want to give him a hug but he didn’t move.

"No, it’s okay. Thank you so much, you’re the best. Have fun "Louis ran to Niall and gave him a big hug.

Niall returns it and they stay there a few seconds, in silence. Then they moved and Niall drove to his house and spent the next hour on his bed crying, thinking how he could think of doing that with him was a good thing, a good option that would change things between them and make them closer or something else he didn’t want to think about.

The pillows were soft and the silence helped him to calm, after calming himself to stop crying he woke up to eat something, some chips, a burger or a pizza and maybe a beer. That sounds like a good plan, he thought.

When he was walking to the kitchen he heard a knock at his front door. He frowned and walked to the door. On the other side was Zayn, with a sad expression and looking at him.

"What are you doing here? "Niall asked him without thinking what he was saying.

"Oh… I want to know if you are okay. You leave early "Zayn replied surprising Niall who didn’t move.

"I’m okay, don’t worry. You didn’t seem to care much, so why are you here?"

"Can I come in? "Zayn asked.

"For what? I’m okay. We can talk tomorrow."

"Please."

Niall didn’t know what to do, he wanted to close the door and forget about him until the next day, he also wanted to hug him and kiss him and let him inside until the next day.

He stayed like that for a minute, thinking what to do then he opened the door more and let him in, hoping that it was quickly and help them forget about what happened and continue with their friendship, like the plan he had from the beginning.

"Thanks, I’m sorry."

"For what? I told you I’m okay, I was about to make some dinner for me."

"I’m sorry for being stupid, in the past and for telling you that what happened the other weekend was a mistake. I didn’t want it to sound like that, I want to be your friend. That’s what I meant."

"I know, this is complicated. I want to be your friend too, and this isn’t helping."

Niall had a deep breath and then looked at Zayn in the eyes, his beautiful eyes. The ones he used to love looking at when they were together. He loved when he laughed and closed them a little, or when he looked at him in the eyes when they were making love.

Zayn took a step closer to him, then Niall moved away and let him pass near him to the door.

" We can talk tomorrow, but not today. I don’t want to, "Niall said, '' I want to sleep and forget. That’s all. See you."

They were so close that Niall avoided his eyes, knowing that it would be too much looking at him when they were near each other. But before he could say anything Zayn was looking at him then their eyes met and they were like that, in silence and they got lost in their eyes.

"This is a mistake, "Niall said and he wanted to open the door but he couldn’t move", you know it too."

"Yes, we know it. I love making mistakes with you." 

"Me too "Niall bite his lip and the rest of the world got lost in his mind. 

They closed the gap between their bodies and started kissing, Niall caressed his hair and then his neck with his right hand while Zayn put his hands in his tights and pressed their bodies. They deepened the kiss, opening their mouths and letting the other person get inside. Their lips moved together, at the same path and their bodies started to react to that.

Niall slipped his hands slowly through his neck and then his shoulders and started taking his jacket off, it fell to the floor with a big noise, when the metallic parts touched the carpet.

Niall rested his head on the wall and exposed his neck to Zayn, who started biting and kissing, making Niall moan loudly. He bitted his lip to shut him up, but it was difficult then he realize that it was stupid as they were in his house and opened his lips.

Then they kissed again once more, Niall took Zayn’s hand without looking at his eyes afraid of what he could find there and they started walking to the living room. In the middle of the corridor, Zayn hugged him from behind and bit his neck with kindness, then a kiss and his tongue started playing with his neck.

They lay on the couch, Niall under Zayn and they kiss again. This time with more passion and rougher. Then Zayn took off his snickers and Niall did the same.

They lay there trying to catch their breaths, pressing their bodies together and their eyes met and it was strange but kind and they love it. Then they started kissing while they tried to take off their pants. For a moment it was a mess of hands and clothes, but finally, they managed to take off their jeans and throw them to the floor.

When their dicks touch over their underwear they let out a moan, then their lips meet again and Niall puts his hands under Zayn’s shirt, touching his back and caressing his skin. It was nice and he loved every second of it.

Then they separated and he took off Zayn’s shirt and his own shirt that joined the rest of the clothes on the floor. Zayn touched Niall’s butt over his underwear and squeezed his butt cheeks while looking at him.

"Do you have… a bottle of lube? "Zayn asked.

"Yeah, in that table "Niall pointed to the table next to the door and Zayn woke up to take the bottle from the drawer.

When he returned Niall looked at him, he was gorgeous and all the tattoos made him even more beautiful. He looked at the sun, the tattoo Zayn had when they did their four year anniversary. Too long ago. It was a gift and it was a beautiful tattoo. A sun, with a number near it and he smiled.

Then a lot of questions started to form in his mind, what was he doing? What were they doing? What was that? Were they friends or they were together in a weird form? What was that moment?

But then Zayn was over him, kissing him and all those questions got lost in his mind and he forgot about them for the whole night.

Zayn touched his butt again, but this time under the underwear. Niall was looking at him the whole time, looking at how he was taking off the rest of his clothes and doing the same to him.

The next second they were naked, on his couch and Zayn was inserting a finger with lube inside him.

"Careful, it’s been a while "Niall said.

Zayn looked at him, confused.

"Okay, tell me if it hurts and I stop."

Niall assent and let him continue, he closed his eyes and rolled his legs around Zayn's waist. He came closer and started moving his finger, then he added another one and started moving them slowly.

"Faster, please "Niall beg while grabbing the fabric of the couch", Fuck... Please.I'm ready".

"Sure? I don’t want to hurt you."

Niall assent again and Zayn started scissoring his fingers faster and Niall started moaning louder and making Zayn coming closer by pressing his toes to his bum. They kissed and started moving to find more friction.

"Don’t stop "Niall said", please don’t you dare to stop, omg. Please, your hands are magic."

Zayn laughed a little and then kissed him, Niall returned it the way he could and a second later he came between their bodies in Zayn’s hand. Then he closed his eyes for a second and opened them to see Zayn sitting on the couch.

He saw his hands touching him while he was resting his head on the couch and looking at the ceiling. Niall sat in front of him and thought for a moment if that was a good idea but considering what they just did, it was.

Niall opened his mouth and touched the tip of his dick with his lips, making Zayn moan loudly. Niall looked at him while he opened his mouth and put all the length in it, started moving his tongue and after a few seconds up and down.

"Omg, Ni you’re amazing. Fuck, I’m going to come."

Niall started moving faster making Zayn come in his mouth then he swallowed everything and moved to sit on the floor in front of him. They stay there in silence, catching their breaths and calming themselves.

"I think I’m going home. See you tomorrow "Zayn said and started dressing.

"Oh.. okay "Niall wanted him to stay but he didn’t know what to say or what to do.

Maybe he can suggest a shower to clean him but Zayn was faster, when Niall was thinking that he was already fully clothed.

"You can have a shower if you want, I mean to clean all the mess we did "Niall said knowing it was stupid after getting dress but he wanted to try.

"It’s okay, I have the car in the parking outside. See you tomorrow, I’m glad we talked and all "Zayn smiled at him and then he was walking to the corridor and opening the door.

A moment later Niall was alone at home and all the questions started to appear in his mind again, he avoided them by taking a shower then having something for dinner and falling asleep with a smile thinking of Zayn and forgetting the worries for another day.

The next day he woke up relaxed, then he remembered what happened and felt stupid for not stopping what they do and for not asking him why they were doing it. He knows the answer to those questions and he hates himself for doing it but he loves kissing him and having those moments together.

He needed to talk to him, so he got up and prepared himself something for breakfast, sat at the couch and watched some tv to distract him before sending him a text or calling him.

When his breakfast was over, he sat on the couch with his mobile in his hands and he found texts from his friends.

Liam

_We will arrived at eight, see you later xx_

Harry

_We will arrive at half past eight, I have a meeting and we are going to bring nachos and something else to drink._

Louis

_I hope you like the salsa I’m cooking for the nachos._

Zayn

_See you tonight, I will also bring food. Can’t wait._

Niall

_You don’t have to bring anything else than yourselves but thank you. Can’t wait for tonight, see you later!_

Liam

_We love to help, James is nervous so please be gentle with him._

Niall laughed at that and then left the mobile on the couch, walked to the kitchen and started making things for dinner. At half past seven everything was prepared, he set the table, finish the dishes, one was still in the oven, and he heard a knock on the door.

Harry and Louis were on the other side with a bowl of salsa and some nachos.

"I thought you had a meeting and will arrive later."

"We left early, it’s okay we talked about all in the first minutes "Harry replied to him", we are excited for tonight."

Liam arrived two minutes later, with James. who was smiling when Niall opened the door and so nervous, he didn't know where to look and his hands were shaking a little that he didn’t say anything else apart from Hello the first minutes .

Then Zayn arrived, but Liam opened the door while Niall was still preparing something in the kitchen and the others were talking in the living room. Niall heard the door and then Zayn’s voice, he smiled and then felt tension on his neck and hands.

He took a deep breath while he was taking the main plate to the living room.

"Hi Zayn, this is James "Liam said, introducing his new boyfriend to Zayn.

"Hi "Zayn gave him his hand and they shook them", I’m sorry I’m late. What did I miss?"

"We were talking about our new sale,'' Harry replied, "I'm excited. A lot of people are talking about it. It’s exciting."

"I’m going to take a bowl of potatoes and salsa and then we can eat, and talk and laugh and drink "Niall said while he walked to the kitchen.

He arrived at the kitchen and heard some footsteps behind him, he looked at the door just when Zayn appeared with a big smile.

"I can help you, what can I carry to the table? "Zayn asked Niall.

Niall forced himself to look at the plate and the food to avoid his eyes, he was nervous about what they were doing and at the same time he wanted more of that, more kisses, more hugs, more touches of him and more time alone with Zayn. He can’t stop thinking about it, even if he wanted to avoid the images. They are still there, reminding him what happened and what was to feel his body next to him.

"It’s okay, I can do it. Thanks for the offer "Niall said and took the plates with him.

He turned around to face the door and saw him again, Zayn was near him and their eyes met again. It was just a second.

"That smells so good "Zayn said.

"Yes, I hope it tastes good too "Niall told him.

Zayn was smiling and Niall took a step towards the door just when Louis appeared in the kitchen.

"Oh, I came to take a bottle of water."

"Yeah sorry, I forget to bring water. I’m sorry, it’s on the table behind us "Niall pointed to the table with his right hand and Louis took the water.

They walked to the living room and started eating. For a while James and Liam were the center of attention.

"Where are you from? "Louis asked him.

"I’m from Scotland but I have lived here since I was a teenager. I love this city, "James told them.

"Yeah, me too. It’s great "Liam said while eating "He loves photography. I told him about your photos."

"Oh, yeah. I think they are amazing. I was looking at them the other day on Instagram and your web, they are beautiful "James said making Harry and Zayn happy.

"Oh, thanks that is so kind "Harry said, "we love taking them. Zayn also paint."

"Oh, that’s great. I love painting but I’m a disaster," said James and took a sip from his drink.

"Yeah, I don’t have too much time these days. I miss when I had a lot of time to paint, like days and weeks. But I sell them too, some people love them. I spent a lot of time learning at first I was a disaster too, "Zayn explained to James.

"They’re amazing " Harry said "in his last fashion show he sold two paints to one of his fans via his web. It was amazing. The fan was at the show and they met, it was nice."

Niall notices that Zayn was smiling while Harry said that he didn’t know he still sells his paints since before they broke up he didn’t have time to do it. He remembered, when they were together, he wanted to keep some to himself and painting was an expression of what was happening in his life at that moment. And he wonders what he painted when they broke up.

They kept talking about it for a while, Zayn was in front of him and for a moment their feet touched and when he was going to take the water bottle their hands touched on the table.

Two hours later, they were full and Louis and Harry fell asleep on one of his couches while Liam and James were talking on the other one in whispers.

"There are too many plates, "Zayn said when they were in the kitchen cleaning and putting everything in the dishwasher.

"I think I’m going to wait till tonight to clean the rest. I'm tired, "Niall said. "Let's go to the living room. Thanks for your help."

"You don’t have to say thanks. That’s what friends do "Zayn said and Niall looked at him.

The kitchen air was full of the smell of soap and warm water, they were tired and when their eyes met again that night, Niall wanted to kiss him and never stop. He took a step towards him, thinking that after what happened between them they can still do that.

Niall bitted his lips, thinking about their kisses and the touch of his skin under his hands and his lips on his skin. He walked the few steps that separated them and kissed him.

Zayn didn’t move the first second but then he returned it and they started kissing faster and Zayn put his arm around his waist pressing their bodies. Niall walked to the table and leaned on it.

After some minutes they separated to catch some air and Zayn kissed his neck and put his hands on his thighs, they kissed again and this time Zayn opened his pants and introduced one of his hands, touching his stomach and then going down until he touched his dick and stopped there.

Niall broke the kiss, closed his eyes for a second and he wanted to take the action to his bedroom but everybody would know what they were doing and it wasn’t a good option, even if some of his friends were asleep and the others focused on each other.

Niall looked at the table, it was empty and he wanted to lay there. So they could have more space, and they could do other things. But he didn't know how to do it.

"Let’s lay on the table, "Niall said.

Zayn moved his hand and they sat on the table, then they lay Zayn over Niall and they started kissing again. Zayn put his hand in the same place as before and Niall touched his butt over his clothes, then unbuttoned his jeans and placed his hands on his butt cheeks, pressing them while they kissed and Zayn started moving his hand.

"We need to hurry, "Zayn said", someone can come in and see us."

Niall let out a small moan and then opened his eyes and bitted his lips to cover them.

"Yeah, we need to hurry but please don’t stop."

"You’re beautiful, "Zayn said, catching Niall by surprise.

He ignored the feeling that reminded him of what he really wanted and continued with their naughty moment. For a moment he felt like they were doing something forbidden, like something naughty and bad and they love it. Then they realized how weird and bad it could be for the others to find them and started moving their bodies and hands quickly.

Some minutes after they were in the table, trying to catch their breaths covered in sweat and come and Niall loved it.

"I’m going to change my clothes,'' Niall said, "I can lend you something."

"It’s okay, I’m going to the bathroom to clean myself. I hope I can."

Zayn pressed a kiss to his lips and moved from the table then he walked to the bathroom and Niall followed him a few seconds later then he went to his room, changed his clothes and ended up wearing something more comfortable, so he can tell his friends that he stained his shirt and had to clean it.

The rest of the night was calm, Harry and Louis woke up when they arrived at the living room and spent the rest of the night playing cards and some table games. It was fun and they had a relaxing night.

The next day, it was Monday again and Niall woke up with a smile. Then he realized that he needed to go to the office and he saw the rain from the bed and the smile fade away. He loved his job but he was tired and wanted to stay under his sheets and sleep more.

He stood up from the bed and took a shower. When he arrived at his office he spent the day busy, without time to think about Zayn or any other thing. He saw Louis at lunch but it was just some minutes because of all the work they had to end and they spent the evening working.

The rest of the week was similar, with reunions and lots of work to do. On Wednesday, Niall wanted to talk to Louis, to see what they can do on Friday because he needed a distraction, with or without Zayn. But he needed it.

He walked to Louis' office and saw his assistant walking to the stairs so he knocked on the door and heard Louis voice welcome him to enter.

"Hey, Ni is everything okay? "Louis asked while reading something on his laptop.

Niall walked towards his table and sat on one of the chairs.

"No, just want to know if you have any plans for this weekend or this Friday "Niall said," I wanted to dance and distract myself from this work."

"Oh, I forgot to tell you yesterday. This Friday Harry and Zayn are going to France for work and I’m going with them. Harry is going to sign some contracts and Zayn has a photoshoot for a magazine and some interviews or something like that "Louis explained.

Niall was surprised, Zayn didn’t tell him anything last weekend. Not even after their moment. He wanted him to tell him things, but he reminded himself that there weren’t a couple and they don’t have to tell each other everything but Niall thought about it and felt sad. He wanted Zayn to talk to him more like friends and he rested his back on the chair and looked at the floor. He wanted to go back to his office and spend the rest of the day alone.

"Hey, Ni are you okay? "Louis asked, looking at him.

"Yeah, just I didn’t know it."

"Harry knew it yesterday morning. I wanted to tell you but I have too many things to do, I’m really sorry. Next weekend we are going to a little hotel in Ireland to have some days for us but next Friday we are here and we can party or whatever you want to do. We leave Saturday morning."

Niall pressed his hands on his legs and bite his lips. Thinking of what to do, his hands shake a little and his eyes move away from his friend.

"Hey, Ni. What is going on? "Louis moved from his chair and sat near Niall.

"Nothing, just Zayn and me and everything. Just that. I hate it. We… started. I think now we are friends with benefits or something like that."

"What??? Since when? Why didn't you tell me anything before? Omg. That's not a good idea Ni."

"I know. It started at your party, the last one. I don’t know what to do, I’m stupid. I want to travel back in time and change things, maybe I should have stayed here, and forget about New York or maybe we should have had that talk when I came back and first saw him. I don’t know I’m sad and tired and I hate it "Niall moved his head and then he rubbed his eyes to stop the tears from falling.

"Did you talk to him at any moment about it? Or did he say something to you?"

"The first time we saw each other after that he said it was a mistake. I said the same, but we didn’t stop. I think I’m stupid and I hate this. I wanted to be with him again, not like this. I want us to be a couple again."

"I know, you need to talk to him. Niall " Louis suggested "today is better than tomorrow. Don’t waste more time. You deserve someone that wants to be with you, you’re amazing. And you didn’t have to change anything from the past, you don’t need to change things because he didn’t understand you. I love Zayn, really. But sometimes he is so selfish and stubborn."

"I love him, I’m stupid. I’m going back to my office, see you later "Niall stopped up from the chair but Louis put himself in front of him and gave him a hug.

"Thanks, you’re amazing. I’m going to text him, I’ll let you know if we talk." Niall said.

"If you need to talk, come here. I will be busy but you go first. Okay?"

"Yeah, I’m going to focus on work till I have to leave. See you later."

Niall left Louis office and then he sat on his chair and took his mobile from his pants but he didn’t know what to text. He put the mobile under some papers to hide it and continue with his things until two hours later, when they have to leave.

He took his mobile again and opened a new text, he typed a word then deleted it and the third time he took a breath and sent the text.

_Are you at home? Can I go?_

After a long two minutes, Zayn sent him an answer.

_Just arrived at home. What is going on?_

Niall thought of what to say.

_Nothing, just… Can I go?_

Zayn texted him a second later.

_Of course, see you in some minutes._

Niall walked to his car and put his things away, then he started driving and thinking of what he could say.

I know you are going to France, why didn’t you tell me anything? Aren’t we supposed to be friends? What are we doing? Do you love me? Do you want to be with me? To be together again? What are we?

When he arrived at Zayn’s house, the new one he brought when Niall left London a year ago, he walked to the door and waited. He leaned on the nearest wall, rubbed his eyes and thought that he needed to do this. They need to clear things and talk, which is important and necessary for their friendship or whatever they were doing.

He rang the bell and waited. Zayn appeared a second later with his hair wet and a pair of pyjama pants and a shirt. He took a shower before he arrived. Niall smiled, trying to be calm and responsible.

"Hi, can I come in? "Niall asked.

" Of course, sorry."

Zayn moved to the side and Niall entered. It was the first time he was there and nothing reminded Niall of him or them together at least in the hall and the corridor.

"We need to talk,'" Niall said, "I can’t continue like this. What are we doing?"

Zayn stayed silent for a second, like he was trying to find the correct words. Then he rubbed his hands on his pants and smiled. It was a sad smile.

"I know, I’m confused. I know this is not helping and we need to clear things up but… I like what we are doing. So much."

"I like the part of being with you, but not the rest. I love kissing you and all that but this is too much "Niall walked to the wall and then again to Zayn and he tried to be nice but it was too much,

"We need to stop doing this," said Niall.

"Yeah, I think my feelings are a mess and I don’t know what to do. I love kissing you too, and being together. But not in that way, maybe we need to stay apart for a while."

"Do you love me? Do you want me out of your life? Or… I want to be with you. I know it's not the same and I screwed up our relationship when I left but I love you."

Zayn looked at him, this time more concerned about what they were talking, and took a step closer to Niall.

"I want things to be different so we can be friends or… friends is okay I guess. I wanted to be with you, but a part of me is still hurt from our break up. It was horrible. I need time to think."

"I know, but I don’t want to talk about the past. I’m sorry, but if you want me out of your life, I will go out of your life but we have the same friends and they are my best friends too and I love them."

"I don’t want to take you out of our group of friends, we can stay in the same room sometimes. It's easy, I think. I don’t know if I love you the same way you still love me. I’m sorry."

Niall took a deep breath hoping to keep the tears inside him for the second time that day. He looked at Zayn's eyes, and he walked to the door.

"How can you not know if you still love me? "Niall asked before opening the door "I know what I feel about you."

"I know what I feel, but it is a mess of things. I want to be with you, but I also want to have time alone to myself and think about it. I kept the feeling under a box inside me last year, I didn’t want to think about you more. It hurts. And now that we are in each other's lives again, I’m confused and I want time to clear my mind. That’s all"

Niall turned around to face him, but Zayn’s face was in tension like he was holding himself from crying or something. He used to hug him when he was sad, caressing his head and his back or his arms, while talking to calm him. He misses his voice in the mornings, his pancakes and his lips touching him then he opened the door and walked outside.

"See you, have… good bye."

Niall closed the door and he heard a moan inside, someone falling and a cry. He arrived at home some minutes later. He spent the drive to his house crying but now that he was home he sat on the floor resting his back on the wall of the corridor and his body started to shake while he was crying.

He stayed there, like that, for a lot of time. Maybe hours, when he stood up to take off his clothes, he put a pizza on his oven and fell on his bed. The rest of the night he ate on his bed, puts on his pyjamas and cries till he was asleep under his sheets and his duvet.

When he woke up the next morning he felt horrible, without energy and so sad he wanted to cry all day and the next week all the time. He knows that what they do was a high risk but the first time he didn’t think much about it and the next time he was excited to be with him at least for the moment and he loves the feeling of his touches in his body hours after they happened. He loves that and now he is depressed, devastated, sad and without energy.

He was stupid for trusting him, and for thinking that maybe that was the beginning of something better, of them together again and he was so delusional for thinking zayn would have something with him, something else apart from having sex and kissing him.

He woke up slowly, took a shower that didn’t help to clear his mind and calm him and picked some clothes, a pair of pants, a shirt and his favorite blue jumper plus some comfortable shoes and a pair of socks he loved, with dragons on them and some rainbows.

He arrived at work with a sad face, he didn’t care if someone was annoyed by it, he was sad and he hated it. He walked to the elevator when he noticed that someone was holding him from his arm.

"Are you okay? "Louis asked him.

Niall shook his head to the sides.

"We talked yesterday evening, it was horrible" Niall answered him.

"Omg, I’m so sorry."

Niall pressed his lips, he didn’t want to cry in the middle of the elevator or in the corridor full of people. When they reach their floor Louis drags him to his office to talk. They sat on the small couch inside his office, near the door, and Niall started crying.

"What happened? "Louis asked.

"I can’t do this here, I have to go to my office. I need to start working or Tim will be angry with me and I can’t endure anything more today.

"You can stay here, I can talk to Tim. He is a good guy despite being so demanding of your time. Come on, we have time. Zayn didn’t call Harry last night, and they talk about everything. It’s strange."

"Well, He told me that he liked what we were doing but didn’t want to be with me. That he needed time, he wanted me out of his life "Niall rubs his eyes and cleans his tears with his jumper "I’m sorry. It was awful. He told me that he was confused and he hid his feelings for me for the last year and he needed to think about it. He didn’t love me."

"That’s not true."

"He told me that last night, at first when I came back and showed him at the party I thought he was dating someone."

"He had some dates, but none of them ended up well. He tried to date a guy last year for a month, he was really nice and so gorgeous but they broke up from one day to another, and it was weird. He is single, why did you think that?"

"I saw him at the party so close to someone and I don’t know I assume that after so many months he found another one… " Niall closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands.

"I’m so sorry Ni, we can go to the bar later and have some drinks, I can call Liam, " Louis said hugging him "I'm so sorry. You deserve better, so much better. I think Zayn still loves you but he is… Zayn. You know."

"I’m stupid for being like this, Thanks for the offer but I want to go home " Niall stood up from the couch and clean his face with the jumper’s sleeve "I’m going to start working, see you later."

Louis stood up next to him and patted his arm, Niall's eyes were red and he looked so tired he wanted to let him go home but he couldn’t do that. Instead, they walked to the door and Niall left his office.

The rest of the day was long and annoyed, Niall arrived home at seven tired and in tension. He left everything in the corridor on the floor and had a shower to calm his nerves, but when he sat in the bed with a towel and the shirt he used to sleep in, he remembered their last time in his house. Kissing in the kitchen and it was like he could felt the kisses again so he covered his face with his hands and started crying again.

He lay on his bed half naked and stayed there for some minutes, then his mobile buzzed and he sat again to catch it from the night table, it was a message from Louis.

_We are going to the bar, wanna come? It is only Liam and me, come on!_

Niall felt happier for a second, but then he realized that he wanted to stay at home and forget about his feelings, he didn’t want to go out, dance and talk about something.

_You’re the best, really. Thanks but I prefer to stay home, I’m tired, see you tomorrow. Love you xx._

He left his mobile on the bed, finished dressing and made some dinner, a sandwich and some cereal and then he lay on the couch and watched a movie. The next morning his feelings were the same, and he woke up sad again.

He thought of Zayn and his smile and pressed his face to the side of the pillow to forget about it. Then he woke up and went to work. The next day it was the same, the same sad routine as the days before. He woke up sad to go to work, make something to eat and sleep everything he could at night.

On Friday Louis met him in the hall in the morning.

"Ni" Niall heard his voice from the elevator " wait, I have something to tell you."

Niall waited for his friend and the rest of the people to enter the elevator or walked to the stairs, leaving them alone in that part of the hall waiting for the next elevator to enter.

"Hey, how are you today? "Louis asked when they were side by side in front of the elevator with the voices of the rest of the hall in the distance.

"I’m okay, can’t wait for the weekend. And you?"

"I’m okay, I just wanted to know if you are okay too and we are leaving tomorrow morning so we have time and I really think you should go out tonight with us. Just Liam and me, and maybe Harry. You need to distract from your sadness and laugh and drink and have fun, come on!"

Niall just wanted to go home and stay there, but maybe his friend was right about distracting himself and going out.

"I don’t know, I’m not a good company now and I don’t want to make you choose from Zayn and me. I’m okay."

The elevator arrived and they got inside, alone again.

"You are not making us choose, you need us and we are your friends and want you to feel better. Come on! We promised just two hours, or maybe more depending on the night "Louis said laughing a little.

Niall smiled for the first time in days and looked at Louis, who was smiling and had his suitcase in his arms.

"Okay, just two hours… What time are we going to meet?"

"Liam finished work at eight, so we talked about meeting at ten at the same place as always."

"Sounds fun, thanks "Niall sighed and breathed to calm his tears from falling", can’t wait."

Louis pat him on the shoulder and then the elevator opened and a group of five people enter pressing them to the wall and near each other. The rest of the morning was better than the last days, at lunch Tim needed him so they ate something together in his office and then continued with all the papers and had a meeting with a big company.

At the end of the day he was tired and he really wanted to sleep and lay on the bed or his couch, but he promised his friends to go out with them so he arrived home and had a shower, then he had dinner and arrived at ten to their date.

Liam was already there in the street, waiting for them so when they met, he gave him a big hug and Niall did the same.

"I’m so sorry for what happened, Zayn is… Zayn. You deserve someone that loves you and treats you better. I love him but he is always like this, especially about his feelings "Liam said.

"I know, but I need to forget about him and have fun tonight. So let’s talk about another thing please "Niall told him.

"Okay, we are going to have fun and this is going to be one of the best nights of the year or the decade "Liam said, making both laugh.

Niall loves him so much for that, for making him laugh and caring about his feelings. Since the day he met him Liam was always nice and kind and that was something he loved, especially because he always cared about them so much. Like if he was their big brother.

Niall remembered the days at college when they were sad and Liam tried to make them smile, or when they were full of things to study, Liam made something to eat and they watched a movie or a series and laughed all night forgetting about the stress for some hours.

He was always the best, like their big brother. The caring one they need.

"How is everything with James? "Niall asked him.

"So good, he is amazing. I wanted you to meet him again, maybe for a party or something "Liam answered him", He likes all of you, he told me how funny you are and that he wanted to meet all of you again.

"That’s great, I like him too. He is so nice and funny. I'm so happy for you Li "Niall said with a smile patting his back.

Some seconds later they saw Louis and Harry in front of them and they waved at them. Niall noticed that Harry avoided his eyes while Louis was smiling at him and gave him a hug when they arrived at their side.

"Finally, let’s get inside. It's so cold outside "Liam said after they hugged.

They entered the club, the same as always with the grey and gold walls, the counter full of people, the waiters dress in white and blue and the dark lights involving everyone and everything.

"I’m going to order something, what do you want? "Niall asked the others.

"I go with you, let’s order something for all "Liam said.

"I wanted a beer please "Louis told them.

"Me too "Harry said", the same beer as always, the one with the white logo.

Niall nodded to him while Liam and him walked to the counter and Harry smiled at him, it was a weird smile and he looked tense but Niall didn’t want to think about it. It could be a lot of things, many of them not related to their friendship, Zayn or what was happening between them.

They ordered drinks and then walked towards the others, the first hour they drank and danced and Niall felt so much better, he was happy. At some point Harry was near him on the dancefloor, Louis went to order another drink and Liam was dancing near them when Harry smiled at him and then took the mobile from his jeans to answer a call.

He left the bar, and stayed there for a few minutes.

"Where is Harry? "Louis asked when he arrived with another drink.

"Outside talking "Liam answered.

Louis looked to the street and saw Harry talking on his phone, with a kind smile and looking at the floor.

"Is everything okay? "Niall asked him hoping for the problem or the person not to be Zayn.

"Yeah, I think it is Zayn they spent the day working a lot together and tomorrow we have to be at the airport at nine in the morning, "Louis told them '', It’s okay, It's still early."

Harry enters a minute later with a smile and they continue drinking and dancing, like nothing happened. Harry and Louis disappear for a while, leaving Niall and Liam alone on the dance floor.

"Feeling better? "Liam asked him.

"Yeah, so much better. Thanks for this "Niall replied with a big smile.

He had the best friends in the world.

"Thanks for everything, you’re the best "Niall said and kissed him on the check.

Liam looked at him with a smile and gave him a quick hug. They danced together for some minutes until Harry and Louis appeared next to them, Niall avoided looking at Harry but the second later someone else’s hand was on his shoulder and when he looked to the side he saw Harry looking at him.

"I hope you are feeling better, you deserve it " Harry said.

"Thanks, Harry. Really, It means a lot."

Harry took a sip from his drink and looked at him again. Niall thought of asking about Zayn, if he was okay or how he was dealing with it.

"It’s true, I’m happy you are better " Harry said " you’re one of my best friends and if Zayn is not the one, I’m sure you’ll find someone better for you."

Niall smiled happily, feeling surrounded by his friends and dancing along to the music, it was a great moment. He loved it.

An hour later they were at the door, taking their coats and walking to the street. It was raining and they didn’t have any umbrellas so they stayed near the building, while they walked to the metro station.

"We can stop a taxi, "Harry said.

"We should have come in a car, I told you, "Louis said "it’s so cold I hate this weather. Let’s run a little."

"I hate it too,'' Niall said, "There is an empty taxi there. "

Niall points to a taxi on the road, two steps away from them. Louis and Liam started running to catch it, but when they were near the taxi started moving and they stayed there under the drops.

"Dame it, we should have taken the car " Louis said.

"I know, let’s go to the metro please "Harry said.

They walked to the next street and to the station. It was empty, and they sat in the chairs to wait.

"It's freezing, can’t wait to arrive home "Niall said.

"Me too "Liam was next to him and they were close, trying to feel a little warm. "I’m also tired, I want to sleep."

Niall saw Harry talking with his mobile again, some chairs to the right side and a little away from them, with a worried face and he thought what was happening.

"Do you know what is going on with Harry? "Niall asked "he was tense and always with his mobile."

Liam looked at him and Niall had the sense that his friend was thinking of what to say or what to do.

"He is okay, maybe worried about the trip. The last time he talked he was talking with… a friend."

Niall knew that friend was Zayn, it was clear. They were good friends, they had fights and good moments, they spent a lot of time together in the last years and he knew them well.

Liam was always relaxed and kind, but at that moment he was tense, a little bit worried and weird. Niall sighed, he hated that situation. Making their friends split in two groups, one day with him, one day with Zayn. It was what he wanted to avoid, they needed to do something. Maybe stay away for a while or make other plans.

The train arrived and they stepped inside. When Niall arrived home, he left the clothes in the bathroom and then he got into his bed. It was like laying on a cloud, fresh and welcoming.

The next day he woke up late and stayed in bed till midday. He had a little headache but he was hungry so he took a pill and drank some coffee with a lot of cookies. Then he lay on the bed again, and spent the day there.

None of his friend’s text him that day, he saw a picture of Harry and Louis arriving in Paris on Instagram, next to them it was Zayn. He could only see part of his face, but the eye was red and he looked tired.

Niall thought about last night, the calls and the messages Harry was reapplying. He left the mobile on the floor and turned around in bed. The next day it was the same and on Monday he arrived at work early.

He was sitting in his office when someone knocked at the door, when it was opened Louis appeared at the other side tired and sleepy.

"Hey "Louis said and sat in front of him", how are you today? Better?"

"Yeah, thanks. So much better, how was the trip to Paris? "Niall asked curious to know something about Zayn " you look so tired."

"I love it, but we arrived late yesterday night and I couldn’t sleep well. I hate traveling like this, without time. I’m going to book a week or two or maybe a month to travel with Harry and sleep "Louis said while laughing.

"Sounds fun, I want that too "Niall replied while writing something on a company paper to give it to his boss.

Niall wanted to ask Louis about Zayn about his feelings and if he was okay but didn’t have the courage to do it. He wanted to know something about him, to hear his voice or see him.

Niall pressed his lips, rested his back on the chair and looked at Louis while trying to smile.

"You’re not okay, what is going on in your mind? "Louis asked.

"I’m okay, promised. Just tired, any plans for this week? "Niall tried to avoid the topic.

"No, we need to rest until the next weekend. Remember? We are going on a little trip just us, to relax and all that "Louis said", You can tell me anything."

"I know, it's just… I miss him "Niall said", I know it's stupid but I miss him. "

Niall rested his elbows on the table and then his head on his hands while thinking about Zayn.

"It’s okay to miss him, you love him but It will be better with the days. He… asked us about you this weekend."

Niall moved his head and looked at him, surprised.

"What? Really? What did he say?"

"He wanted to know if you were okay, and how it was the night on Friday."

"Oh, what did you tell him?"

"That you were sad, but know you are better. Or we thought that."

"Yeah, I’m better thanks to you and… how is he doing it?"

"Well… he is sad, but he is doing better. Like you."

Niall smiled, he wanted to hear that Zayn was crying, sad and thinking about him and how to fix it, but he was better and after what they were through, he wanted to forget for a while. Maybe he need time alone or away from everyone to calm and figure out what to do next.

Louis leaves his office a few minutes later, and Tim appeared with a new contract and told him about a meeting they have in two days. Then they need to go to court and back to the office.

That night when he arrived at home he started to think about what to do for the next few days, he thought of doing a trip to the north to see an old friend on Friday night, then he could stay there for a day or two and get back to London, happier and refreshed.

He loved the plan so he called his friend Oliver, an old friend from high school who was working there and planned his trip. On Friday he was nervous, he wanted to go out and have some fun, forget about his life and his problems with Zayn and just talk and relax.

"Can’t wait to see Oliver again "Niall told Louis while they were eating lunch at work.

"Yeah, it’s been a while since we saw him and his husband. We leave today after work, can’t wait to get lost in the forest, in the mountains in Ireland "Louis said with a smile thinking about the weekend and Harry with a bright face.

"That's a great plan. Ireland is the best, you're going to have a lot of time and places to relax I’m sure "Niall laughed and then moved his head to the side", when was the last time you saw him?"

"I think during summer, last year. They came to London and we had dinner together and then we went to the same place to drink something, it was really good to be with another couple. We need to tell them to come home someday, maybe this summer, if they can."

"That sounds like a good plan, Oliver told me that they are going to wait for me at the train station, I’m going by car but it is the nearest place to their house where we can meet after they finish their jobs "Niall told him.

"Yeah, they live near the station."

They kept talking for a while, then they went back to work and Niall spent the rest of the day working and busy so when he was able to leave his office he was excited and ran to the parking section.

He drove home, it was a long day and he was happy he brought his car that day to work, he waited for Louis at the entrance of the building and when he saw him, they started moving.

"I love seeing you like this, so happy and excited for your trip. You have to tell us about it, and say hi to Oliver and Will from us."

"Promise, and take some photos if I can "Niall said, dancing a little in his seat in the car while they waited for the traffic lights to turn green to continue.

"Us too, can’t wait. Liam texted me an hour ago. He is going to sleep in James' house all weekend for the first time since they started dating. "Louis announced to Niall" and he is nervous."

"I hope it ends well, he deserves it. The last time he dated someone it was a disaster and he is a good person. He deserves better."

"I think like you, I told him to stay calm. He always wants to go like this, calm and slow. James is a good person, I like him."

"Me too, I’m going to text him later "Niall stopped the car in front of Louis house, and they stayed there for some seconds.

"See you on Monday, thanks for taking me home. Have fun this weekend "Louis got out of the car and they waved at each other from the distance.

When he was going to move his car he saw the door open and Zayn’s face in the hall smiling. Niall looked at him and then at the closed door, like his face was still there looking at something and smiling like he was okay, like nothing happened between them. He moved his car and drove home.

He packed his things, and then had a shower. He put on an old shirt he loved and a pair of comfy pants, and ordered a pizza and some chips. Then he watched a movie, leaving his feelings and Zayn’s face at the bottom of his mind.

The next morning he woke up early and after a quick breakfast he ran to his car and started driving to the north, to a tiny town, with old houses and beautiful gardens he loved.

It’s been so long since he was there and Oliver was a good friend of theirs, they know each other for so long but they haven't seen each other much since he moved there to work and marry a guy from that tiny town. They haven't seen each other since he came to London last Christmas and it was too much time for them.

In high school Oliver was part of the drama club and they were good friends, Harry and Oliver used to play a lot of the important roles and Niall was next to him in class, it was good to be back to the old things, the old friendships and not think about things that make him feel sad.

When he arrived at the train station, Oliver was there, alone. Niall got out of the car to greet and hug him. They stay there for some minutes, until Will appears, with the same blue hair he always had and some paintings on his other hand.

That reminds Niall how good his paintings were, and how much Zayn and him talk about it every time they meet. He left the moment in the bottom of his mind, like the rest of the images and his feelings. He needs to focus.

They arrived at his friend's house some minutes later, it was a big house and the garden was beautiful. Like being in an old English tv series about a couple just married, it was lovely and Niall felt relaxed and warm.

He helped them make some dinner and they stayed late talking about their old days and the new plans, when he went to his bedroom he didn’t think of Zayn. The next day they went shopping for some things, they ran a bit, they went for a walk and fished a little at the river in the mountains.

When Monday arrived Niall was happy, more than the last days and he didn’t think about Zayn in the last days, since he arrived at his friend's house.

He spent the day working, eating with Louis and talking about the weekend and how good it was to be away.

The next Friday arrived quickly and Niall went to Louis' office with a smile, running a little and ready to party.

"Hey, Lou! Any plans for today or tomorrow? "Niall asked him while sitting in front of him at his desk.

"Yeah, tomorrow we have dinner at home, just talk to Harry about it. Today is a relaxing day for us, we are tired."

"Okay, I can bring something. The next day we can meet at my house and watch a film or play a game," Niall said.

"Yeah, sounds great. I need to confirm if we can, but I love the plan. I’ll tell you later "Louis said", Liam and James are coming to the dinner."

"Great, I want to know him more. I’m happy they had a great weekend together last week, they deserve it. Can’t wait to ask Liam about it, I miss him "Niall said.

"Yeah, me too! Can’t believe it’s been weeks since we all stayed together… " Louis looked at Niall, thinking of what he just said.

"I think I’m going back to my office, see you later " Niall walked to his office thinking about all the work he had, letting his feelings and the recent comment sink in the bottom of his mind with the rest of the things he didn’t like or want to think about.

The rest of the day was long and the next morning Niall woke up early. He stayed in bed all the morning, Louis texted him in the middle of the day to tell him the hour and that Zayn wasn’t invited.

Niall lay on the bed, frustrated about the situation but he didn’t know what to do about it. Zayn didn’t want the same as him and he didn’t want to talk about it, to give him another opportunity. Niall didn’t want to be with him, he can be polite and stay in the same room for a night but he didn’t want to do it especially because they can start arguing.

At night Niall arrived on time for the dinner, Liam and James were already there and the house smelled amazing.

"The dinner smells amazing " Niall said when he entered the kitchen and found Harry cooking.

"Thanks, I hope it tastes amazing too "Harry said and Louis appeared next to him and patted him on the shoulder.

Niall thought of the plan he proposed to Louis the day before, he didn’t give him an answer and he was nervous about it, he knew the reason. That maybe they have a plan with Zayn and he wasn’t invited as Zayn wasn’t invited to that dinner.

Niall helped them to put everything on the living room table, and they started eating.

"How was the selling of the photos? "James asked them.

"We haven't sold anyone yet, but some of them are reserved and have a lot of likes on Instagram "Harry explained to him.

They spend the night talking about their last trips, and making plans for the next month.

"I’m going to New York next month "Harry announced, "I need to sign something for a movie, they are going to use some of my photos, and help a singer with his first album. He brought some of my new songs."

"That’s great, I’ve never been to New York " James said.

"We can go next summer if you want "Liam suggested to him", I ‘ve been a few times. Some of them for job proposals. It’s a beautiful place."

"Yeah, is lovely. I lived there for a while " in that moment Harry's phone rang and he moved away to answer it", it’s great to spend some days."

"I love the idea " James said with a smile "can’t wait."

They could hear Harry from the corridor, he was talking about his job. Something about a contract, a few seconds later he was back at the dinner and they continued talking. Harry left his mobile on the table, and he received some messages. Niall couldn’t stop thinking about Zayn and what he was doing and if he was okay. He wanted to see him.

Niall thought about going home but it was so early, only ten and it was a great dinner. He wanted to know James and spend more time with his friends so he left all the feelings in the same place as the others, in the bottom of his mind for some more hours.

When he arrived home, two hours later, he lay on his bed with his pyjamas and opened Instagram. He saw a picture of Liam with James walking home that night, they were lovely and he was really happy for his friend. Then he saw a picture of Oliver with his husband in their town, smiling and drinking coffee. The next one was a picture of Zayn's house, the window and the sky that night.

Niall looked at the picture, it was sad or that was what he thought. Then he saw another one, this time it was a picture of his television and a movie, a comedy one. Niall sighed and left the mobile on the night table. He hated that situation, but he didn’t know how to solve it. He hated it, it was frustrating to do something but didn’t know how to do it or what to do to be with him again.

The next day he woke up and his first thought was Zayn, and the smile faded away at the second. He misses him. He spent the day at home, Louis texted him at midday to know if he was okay.

Niall didn’t receive an answer for his plan, but he didn’t care. He understands the situation, he hates the feelings and the tension between Zayn and him.

On Monday Louis caught him in the corridor of their offices and run to walk next to him.

"Hi, how was your Sunday? "Louis asked him.

"Great, just me and a relaxing time at home. And yours?"

"Great too, how are you today?"

"Okay, still miss him a lot. I can’t stop thinking about him, I saw some pics on his Instagram. This is horrible "Niall explained.

"I know, you will be better with time. Promised."

"I know, or I don’t… how is he doing it? "Niall asked, curious.

"Okay, he is doing great. We didn’t see him this weekend, that was what he told us yesterday by the phone. Harry was talking to him "Louis told him.

"I’m glad he is better than me," Niall said.

"He isn’t. I'm sure he misses you too. You are an amazing person, don’t say that."

"I know, sorry. See you later."

"Okay, bye. Love you Ni. Talk later."

Niall waved at him and entered his office, the rest of the morning he was busy and at lunch, he had to work with Tim and a new client so they eat something quickly at his office .

On Friday Niall went out with Liam, Louis said he was busy and they spent a couple of hours drinking and dancing. It was great, but they miss the rest of the group. Including Zayn.

During Saturday, Niall started watching a movie but at some point, he stopped being interested in it so he took his mobile and entered Instagram. The first photo was one of Harry and Zayn with their cameras at Zayn’s house. They were smiling, but Zayn looked tired and a little bit uncomfortable.

Niall looked at him for some minutes, then he left the mobile on the couch next to him and spent the rest of the evening there. The images of Zayn with his camera appeared in his mind, having fun and forgetting about him. About what they had and spending the days with other people.

Some tears started to appear in his eyes, falling to his lips and his cheeks. He took them away with his hands, rubbed his eyes and moved to the kitchen. He took a box of chocolate cookies and a bag of chips and moved to his room to eat them, trying to hide his tears while watching a movie.

On Monday he saw Louis during lunch but they spoke about their jobs and all the things he had to do, and a little about the last dinner. The rest of the days were busy and boring.

On Friday evening he went out to do some shopping and saw Zayn again in the same supermarket, he thought of going to another market to do the shopping because he hated seeing him there and not knowing what to do. Zayn was in the vegetables section, like the first time and he looked at him.

Zayn was looking at the fruits and he didn’t see him, he was gorgeous. His hair was beautiful, even the mess it was in that moment, and his eyes were bright. He walked to the other side of the corridor and saw Zayn a few seconds later at the end, buying some vegan milk.

He thought of saying something but Zayn was clear, he didn’t want them to be friends. He wanted him out of his life, and that was all. Niall walked to the other side, he heard some steps and someone talking but he didn't move. 

He saw Louis and Harry on the outside, putting his things in his car.

"Hey, I didn’t see you inside, "Niall said", how are you doing?"

"Hi, good. We came here to buy something, our kitchen is empty "Louis said, making them laugh.

"I know about that, how is everything? "Niall asked Harry while Louis closed the back door and opened the front one.

"Really good, we need to go clubbing. Maybe this Saturday. Tomorrow if you want." Harry said.

"Yeah, please. I need a distraction, too much work and I miss seeing you and Liam "Niall admitted.

"We miss seeing you too, "Louis said", and being together. We can talk and meet at the same club as the last time."

"Yeah, talk later. Can’t wait " Niall said and he realized that his friends were in tension like they wanted to finish and go.

He started to think about a reason when the door of the supermarket opened and Zayn started walking to where they were staying.

"See you tomorrow, "Niall said and walked away.

"No, wait , you don’t need to leave," said Louis looking at him, with a little smile.

"It’s okay Lou, we can talk later " Niall moved to his car.

Zayn's eyes looked at him, they shared a look and it seemed like Zayn was surprised, and wanted to talk to him. Niall stayed there, in the parking, without moving for more seconds than it was necessary.

He moved away, tears started to appear in his eyes and he opened his car. Niall heard Zayn’s voice from the distance, it was devastating hearing him talking to his friends and being happy.

Louis texted him when he was entering at home.

_How are you? We are going to stay busy today, but tomorrow we can meet at ten, Deal? Love you, don’t cry you deserve better xx Hi from Harry._

Niall started crying, the phone fell from his hands to the floor where he was sitting and the bags full of things were on the corridor. Next to him. He didn’t want to answer or talk or move, just wanted to stay there thinking how everything could go so wrong and feeling depressed.

A few minutes later someone knocked at his door, he thought of Zayn but that wasn’t an option, not a real one at least. He stood up from the floor, put the food to the side of the corridor and opened the door.

On the other side it was Liam, with a big smile ready to hug him. Niall let him in and they hug for a while.

"I’m stupid, I screw everything up again. I hate it, I miss him "Niall moved and broke the hug and Liam did the same.

"Don’t say that, your are not stupid Ni. Is it okay to be sad about it."

Niall took the bags to the kitchen and Liam helped to put the things in his place.

"You are not stupid, "Liam said again while they walked to the living room some minutes later", don’t cry. Is it okay to miss him."

"He wanted me out of his life, Li. How I’m going to do that. I can't. I love him."

Niall started crying again, and Liam gave him another hug.

"We are going to eat something and then go for a walk."

"I don’t want to go outside, Li. Just stay here."

"And cry all night? I don’t like that plan, besides you are going to do what I say. So go for something to eat and let’s go outside. Now."

Liam looked at him with a kind expression, and they walked to the kitchen. They ate some fruits and chocolate and then they walked to the street. It was full of people partying, having fun and couples kissing.

"Don’t look at them, you are going to find someone" Liam said and they returned home after walking around the street of his house.

It was weird being outside, with a friend and always wanting to cry. When they arrived home, Liam made some hot chocolate for them and they started watching a movie.

"Feel better? It will be better, with time. I’m sure he misses you too."

"Yeah, I’m better. Thanks, did Louis text you?"

"He called me when they arrived home, they had to do something with Zayn so he couldn’t come. But tomorrow we are going out, clubbing again. James wants to come "Liam said.

"I’m glad you found him, he is so nice and funny."

"I know, he is the best" Liam said with a fond smile.

"Thanks for coming, I feel so much better. You’re the best and deserve all the good things in the world Li "Niall said to him", and the same for Louis."

"This is what friends do and we want you to be okay. You’re my best friend, you know that "Liam pat him on the arm and smiled", let’s finish the movie, then I have a date with James."

"Oh, that’s great. You can go if you need it, really. I’m okay. I’ll have something for dinner and then go to bed. And tomorrow we can see each other and drink, dance and have more fun "Niall said with a tiny smile.

"I have time, don’t worry. Let’s finish the movie, and then I can go "Liam insisted.

When Liam left his house Niall wasn’t happier but he didn’t want to cry till he fell asleep. The next day they danced a lot, Harry was with them only for an hour but it was a great night even if Niall knew that Zayn wasn’t there and he needed to forget about him.

Liam and James spend a lot of time kissing and dancing, it was great to see his friend so happy with someone so nice. James invites them to drink once, and they laugh a lot together.

After more drinks they called a taxi and went home, on the ride home Liam and James were next to him and Louis was on the other side, next to the window.

Liam and James, were the first to arrive at Liam’s house leaving the rest alone in the back of the taxi.

"This was fun, can’t wait for the next time "Niall said with a smile", I’m a little drunk."

They laugh and stay in silence for a while.

"Thanks for telling Liam yesterday, it was good to be with him. Thanks."

"It’s okay. I’m glad today you are better."

"How is he? "Niall asked, a little afraid of Louis' reaction and the truth.

"Well… some days he is okay, some days he is sad. He is thinking of what he feels and trying to understand what is going on. But he is okay."

Niall was surprised, Zayn was thinking of his feelings towards him and trying to clear his feelings and his thoughts. At least he wasn't the only one sad.

"That sounds, okay. I think "Niall said.

Niall arrived home the last one and fell asleep some minutes after laying in bed. The next day he did some housework and stayed there all day. During the week, Louis announced to him that he was going to New York with Harry next month and that means he was going to take some holidays from work in a few weeks.

"I’m going to miss you, but I’m happy for you "Niall said to him during lunch", I’m so happy. What day are your holidays going to start and when do you leave?"

"In three weeks, but we are going to see each other all day. Don’t worry, and Liam is here. Plus we are going to be there just some days. But we are thinking of meeting for work and eating something outside next Saturday. Just us, like the last days."

"That sounds fun, love it. If I can go."

"Of course, you can. Zayn has something to do, I don’t remember it well. Harry told me something about a meeting or an interview."

"oh, okay. I have to go back to work, see you later."

"Me too, wait please "Louis finished his cake and they went back to their offices.

Niall saw Tim on the elevator, they talked about the weather and some clients. It was strange, they never talk calmly like that. His nerves were always showing.

Niall walked to his office and at the end of the day, someone was knocking at his door.

"Hi, did you finish? I have the car outside "Louis told him", I’m tired and want to go home."

"Yeah, just finished everything from today. Let’s go."Niall said while putting away some folds and papers.

They walked outside the building to the parking area. It was sunny and they walked to the car in silence, enjoying the sun and the good weather. It was great.

"How are you feeling today? "Louis asked him again that day.

"Better, really. I still think about him sometimes, but I'm better. I hate to make you choose, we can stay in the same room for a while so invite him to the plan if you want, this Saturday I mean. It's okay."

"Are you sure? "Louis sat on the driver's seat and Niall next to him", we do things with both of you, you are not making us choose so stop saying that Ni. We are friends."

Niall smiled at him, they relaxed during the ride home and put on the radio to listen to Liam’s radio program.

"I love hearing him on the radio "Niall admitted", it's really nice. His voice is so calm."

Hey everyone, let’s listen to some romantic music and relax a little. Forget about work, come on.

Liam's voice faded away and one of Ed Sheeran's songs started playing in the background, it was quiet and then his voice started singing the lyrics, it was calm and Niall needed to focus on the people and the noises from the street to avoid the song. He remembered the first time he heard one of his songs. He was with Zayn, dancing in a club and it was Valentine’s day. He hates that memory, it makes him sad.

"Let’s talk, do you have any preferences for this Saturday’s place to eat."

Niall took a deep breath and held the tears inside himself. Closed his eyes for a second, and then tried to speak without crying.

"No, I can go wherever you want to go. Every place is great, really. Just want to…. To go outside and have fun."

Niall hid his face to the side, looking outside the window without looking outside. He felt Louis hand on his arm, trying to calm him.

"I’m sorry."

"It’s Liam’s fault for putting that song "Louis said and they laugh.

"I know I can’t come back and expect him to have the same feelings not to be hurt by our break up. But I can’t live like this, I miss him. I thought we could be friends, but I realize I’m still in love with him. So in love, like when I left. I screw everything that day. I’m stupid for leaving."

"Stop saying that Ni, now. Don’t say that again, it's okay to miss him. But you are not stupid, you did nothing wrong and you are going to be better. You have us, relax tonight and then we can talk tomorrow. I’ll call you later, yeah?"

Louis stopped the car and squeezed his shoulder, Niall cleaned his tears and smiled at him. It was a sad smile, but it was all he could do.

That night before falling asleep Niall spent some time on Instagram, he saw a picture of Liam with James smiling in the street and then another of Harry and Louis having dinner together in some restaurant. Then he saw a picture of Harry with Zayn, from two days ago, they were smiling but Zayn's eyes were red and he looked like he wanted to disappear. His clothes were a mess and in the background, it was his house, and a table full of food and some beers.

The last picture, in Zayn’s account, was a photo of Paris. The last place he was at, with Harry and Louis. He wanted to go there with him and spend hours kissing, taking photos and having fun. They used to love taking photos of them on their trips, it was lovely and they used to post them on their Instagram. But that was part of the past.

The rest of the week passed faster than any other, Niall realized it was Friday on the day earlier. On Friday evening, Louis told him that they were going to meet the next morning in Hyde Park, near the metro station, and then go for a long walk enjoying the good weather it was announced for that day.

The next day Niall woke up with a smile, he didn’t think of Zayn in two days and that was a good thing. He didn’t cry any other day and he had a good week at work and with Louis. It was a good day, and he woke up early then he had a shower and something for breakfast. A coffee, some cookies and a toast with honey.

When he was in the metro, on his way to Hyde Park his mobile buzzed. It was a message from Louis.

_We can’t go, sorry lads. We need to help a friend move his things today. He really needs us. See you later. Xx_

Niall looked at the mobile, surprised and without knowing if he should go or they can cancel the date and move it to another hour. Then he thought that maybe he can stay with Liam and James, for a while. Maybe until lunch, if they want.

When he was outside, the sun was looking in his direction and he walked to the place where they agreed to meet. His mobile buzzed again, with a new message from Liam.

_We can’t go either, James has something to do at work and I wanted to help him. He needs me, see you later. Love you lads xx_

Niall was more surprised when he saw Zayn in front of him after reading the message and thought that that was weird. Their friends made that up, or it seems like it.

He looked at Zayn, who seemed as shocked as he was. They walked towards each other and Niall thought that their friends were nice but that was a nonsense. Zayn didn’t want him again. Not in the same way he wanted him.

They looked at each other without knowing what to do, Zayn opened his mouth to talk but didn’t say anything.

"Hi… "zayn started saying a second later", I think we are alone."

"Yeah, I think I’m going back home."

"Wait please, I’m so sorry "Zayn begged him to stay ", you did nothing wrong. I understand you leaving, I was so stubborn those days. I didn’t want to broke up with you and didn’t watch things in the correct way. I was stupid not you, I should have gone with you, or at least try to stay together in the distance or something else. I’m sorry."

Niall tried to avoid his tears and forces them to stay inside him for a while more, but they fall down his cheeks.

"Thanks, it makes me feel better. But we have the same problem, sorry. I must go."

"Please, stay with me."

Zayn took a step closer to him, Niall held his breath and they looked at each other's eyes. The air was heavy around them, some people walked in the distance.

"Why should I? This is too much, I need time apart."

" I was confused and stupid and selfish and so angry that I couldn’t see the truth in front of me. That was why I love being with you like that, I love kissing you, I love touching you, looking at those beautiful eyes. I love you more than I thought, you are the first person I fell in love with, the first one I sleep with. You are everything to me."

"I know, but that sounds like a romantic thing more than a real thing. Do you love me?"

"I love you, more than anything in the world. You mean everything to me."

"I love you too, so much," Niall said and they both started crying.

"I’m so sorry, so sorry Ni for all. I love you so much, I spend the last weeks and days feeling like a disaster, I was so stupid for acting like that."

"It’s okay, we can fix things. If you want."

"Please. We can have a first date again if you want."

"That is great, I would love to do that."

Niall looked at his eyes, his beautiful eyes and took a step closer. Niall caressed one of his cheeks with his right hand, Zayn puts his arms around his shoulders, then he puts one of them on his right cheek and kisses him.

Their lips move together, slowly and not wanting to move away. With time. In the distance, the air moved the trees and some birds sang. Niall opened his mouth and let Zayn in, who did the same and they deepened the kiss.

Niall could feel Zayn’s hand in his cheek, caressing his skin and hugging him with the other hand on the back, it was like living on one of his dreams. It was what he wanted for the last months, the last year and he loved it.

Niall moved his hands to his waist to hug him and then they broke the kiss and smiled. They stay there, kissing again and enjoying each other’s company and spend the day having a first date walking through the park and talking.

A week and a half later, they were having dinner in a Spanish restaurant. It was their fourth date and the night was warm and the sky was clear. No clouds on the horizon.

Niall took the last bite of cake while the waitress gave them the ticket to pay, Niall tried to catch it but Zayn was faster.

"You pay the last time, It’s my turn "Niall said taking the ticket from his hands.

"It doesn’t matter. You can pay the next time "Zayn said smiling at him and taking the note again.

Niall put his credit card on the plate for the waitress, Zayn did the same. The waitress came back and stayed looking at the cards.

"Take mine, please" Zayn said and the waitress left the table with his card" you can pay our next date. Maybe tomorrow, or when you want."

Niall put his card back in his pocket, then he rested his hand on the table and Zayn moved towards him, caressing his fingers and then the hand. They smiled and looked at each other like it was their first moment doing that, like it was their first date.

Niall wanted to make the table disappear and kiss him, sit in his lap and stay there for the rest of the night or the day. Instead, he bitted his lip, when the waitress was back they ran to Zayn’s car.

It was a silent ride until they arrived at Niall’s house, the music in the radio was the only noise around them. Niall moved his head and saw Zayn looking at him, with his lips parted.

He moved to his side and kissed him, he taste like strawberries and chocolate. Zayn rested his hand on his partner's cheek. Niall felt his hand touching his skin, then his hand moved down to touch his neck and then his back over his shirt.

Niall moved till he was sat in his lap, with his legs on the sides and his hands on his neck caressing his skin. Their lips were still locked together.

After some minutes they broke the kiss to breathe, their foreheads were touching and their eyes met again.

"Wanna come in? "Niall asked him"I don’t have neighbors, we can scream all we want."

Zayn laughed for a second and kissed him.

"Yeah, If you want "Zayn nodded and kiss him again.

They parked the car in record time and the moment they were outside they ran to each other and kissed again. Niall intertwined their hands, and they broke the kiss on the stairs.

Niall opened the door and after closing it, he kissed Zayn again and pushed him to the door. His keys fell to the floor when he tried to put them on the wall. He left his lips and started kissing his neck, playing with his tongue and giving him little bites.

"Fuck Ni…"

Niall moved to touch his lips with his tongue. They kissed and got rid of their shirts while they walked to the room led by Niall. When they arrived, Niall turned on the lights and they walked to the bed while kissing.

They took off their sneakers and Zayn pressed their lips together, laying slowly on the bed. Niall under him.

They press their bodies together. Niall put his hands on Zayn’s back, going down slowly until he found his bum and squeezed it a little. Then he cupped his butt cheeks with his hands, moving him a little up. They broke the kiss again, to breathe and they looked at each other.

Niall felt like the world collided that moment, like everything that happened vanished and never existed. Like they were just them again, having a great moment together in bed. Just them.

Zayn unbuttoned his jeans and touched his dick over the underwear, making Niall moaning. He was hard, and let Zayn took his pants away and throw them to the floor near the sneakers.

Zayn moved a little down, facing his erection and licking the tip with his tongue over the underwear.

"Fuck…"

Niall put his hands on the sides of the bed, grabbing the sheets and looking at Zayn who was looking at him during all his movements to see his expression. Then he opened his mouth and put the tip inside over the underwear, Niall took advantage of the moment and grabbed his shoulders to make him come closer.

They kissed and Niall moved them so he was on top of Zayn, he took off his jeans and his black boxers. The second later he was kissing his stomach and some of his tattoos. He looked at the sun, and at the date. Move a little to give a kiss to their tattoo, while Zayn was combing his hair with one of his hands.

Then they looked at each other and kissed, smiling. While they were kissing Zayn took off Niall’s boxers and wrapped his legs around his waist. They face each other and kiss, Niall licked Zayn's lips and they stop moving for a few seconds.

"Where’s the lube? "Zayn asked.

Niall moved to the side and opened one of the drawers of the nightstand to take the lube and a condom. Leaving them next to them in the bed. Zayn moved them again, grabs the bottle of lube and smears his fingers with it.

Niall spread his legs before Zayn could say anything and he started to move his fingers to his entrance, introducing one so slowly. Letting Niall adjust to it.

"Slowly, please."

"Let me know if it hurts and I’ll stop "Zayn said, leaving a kiss on his chest and his stomach.

"It’s okay, I love this feeling."

Zayn moved his finger with calm, taking time while Niall closed his eyes and enjoyed the entrance. A few minutes later he added another finger, making Niall moan really loud.

"Omg, I love your fingers…"

Zayn added more lube to his fingers and added a third one a minute later, he started scissoring them. They kiss again, while Zayn keeps moving his fingers. Niall bitted his lips, taking a moan from him.

"I’m ready, please."

"Are you sure? "Zayn asked him.

"Yeah, don’t want to wait any more time. Please, fill me up. Come on!"

Zayn took his fingers out of his partner and grabbed the condom. Then he placed himself on Niall’s entrance, put on the condom and started to enter slowly. When he was fully inside he stayed there for a few seconds. Niall's eyes were full of lust and dark, it was addictive to look at him.

Niall wrapped his legs around his waist, pressing them to his bum to make him move. Zayn started to move, back and forward with calm. He put his hands on Niall’s tights.

Niall put his hands on top of Zayn's hands, then he grabbed the duvets and the sheets.

"Fuck, I miss this so much… I love this feeling."

Zayn lays on Niall and they kiss, moving together at the same rhythm for a while. Niall still presses his toes to his bum urging him to move faster. Zayn moved back to his initial position and started moving faster, filling the room with moans and screams of their names.

"Omg, you’re beautiful. I love this feeling "Zayn said in a whisper.

"You’re so gorgeous too… omg… Zayn. Don’t stop."

They keep moving like that for some minutes.

"I’m going to come... "Zayn announced.

"Me too… don’t stop... fuck" Niall shouted.

They felt their orgasms, making them close their eyes for a moment. Niall came between their bodies moaning Zayn’s name while he came a second later inside Niall, screaming his name.

Then they lay on the bed, trying to catch their breaths and smiling. They got inside the sheets and Niall moved towards Zayn, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

"I love you, "Zayn said, looking at him.

Niall smiled like he was about to cry of happiness.

"I love you too. So much. This was amazing."

Zayn kisses him and they lay there for a while.

"I want you to stay tonight, "Niall said.

Zayn turned a little so they were face to face.

"I want to stay, I want us to become what we were. Forgetting about the past."

"Me too, just us and the future."

"I love that, "Zayn said smiling.

"Can I ask you something? "Zayn asked him after some seconds of silence.

"Yeah, go ahead."

"You said it had been a while since you did this with someone."

"Yeah, the last time was with you. I had a date in New York a lot of months ago but it was weird just to go on a date. I didn’t like it, the guy was funny and nice but it was strange… and after that I didn’t have any more dates. It wasn’t what I was looking for..."

"Yeah, I feel that. I didn’t do that with anyone else since… you know."

"Lou told me you dated someone for a month…"

"Yes, the kisses were okay but the night we tried to do it, after a month of dating. It was weird and a mess, the day later I broke up with him. It wasn’t what I was looking for either, he was funny and made me laugh a lot. That was great but the rest was also strange. I dated him because at first, I thought we had a connection and I like him, it turned out we didn’t have any and it was better to break up."

"I love you "Niall said, caressing his arm", more than anything and I didn’t stop doing it this past year, It was always you. You and you."

"I love you too. For now and for the future."

"Yeah, for now and forever."

A year later

Niall and Zayn were on their way to Liam’s house, where they were going to meet the rest of the group.

"Can’t wait to tell them "Niall said, caressing the ring in his finger" and to know what they have to tell us."

"Yeah, is going to be a great night" Zayn said while Niall parked the car outside Liam’s house.

Next to them it was Harry and Louis' car, and inside there were lights from the living room and the master room. Niall got out of the car, while Zayn did the same and they walked to the entrance. Outside it was a little cold, and they ran to the door.

They rang the bell and waited, James was the one who opened the door. He was wearing a black and blue suit, with rainbows in the jacket pockets. Making it weird but beautiful.

"Hey, how was the weekend in Ireland? "James asked while they entered and he closed the front door.

From the corridor they heard their friends' voices, Louis was laughing while Liam was saying something.

"Really good we have great news also "Zayn answered him.

"Can’t wait to know it " James said smiling.

Liam and James were still together after a year and a half dating. They traveled to New York last summer, and had a lot of little trips to different places in the last three months, during weekends. One of them, was to a small town in the south, near the coast. And according to them, it was lovely and beautiful.

Niall and Zayn walked to the living, the table was set with all the plates, the glasses and the food. Including a bowl with Louis special salsa for the nachos. The one they love.

"Hey lads, how was the weekend? "Liam asked them when they entered the room.

"Yeah, you have to tell us "Louis said, taking a sip from his water.

"Let’s sit and then we can tell us everything, "Liam told them", I’ll take the drinks and the rest of the food."

The smell of the living room and the house was amazing, and they couldn’t wait to start their food.

Niall sat near Zayn, trying to cover his hand everything he could. So their friends won't see the ring and know what they have to tell them. They want to hear their voices and watch their faces with the news.

"Well, what’s your news? "Harry asked Liam and James while they finished the first dish.

"Well… " Zayn thought that maybe they have the same news to share", we start living together last week."

"That’s great,'' Niall said, "I'm so happy for you. What great news."

"Yeah, I’m so happy for you, "Louis said with a big smile.

"Me too, you deserve it, "Zayn said looking at them.

James was smiling, and visibly emotional. His cheeks were a little red and his lips were pressed. Then he ate something and looked at Liam who was smiling and happy that he found the love of his life.

"Thanks,'' James said, "you're so kind."

"Same, is great to live with someone and being in love."

"Me too "James said.

They continue with the dinner for a few minutes, talking about their jobs. Harry told them about his new contract with a really famous singer.

"One of my songs was nominated for an award last month "Harry announced them", and we are invited to the show but I don’t know if I want to go. I prefer the backstage, really."

"Me too, but sometimes the parties and the shows are great "Liam said", you should go."

"Yeah, I have to think about it. I love being with other artists and friends, and I can promote my work there. Maybe we should go "Harry said looking at Louis.

"If you want "Louis said with little interest in his voice" I love it, If you want we can go. "

"I can obtain tickets for all if you want to come, what do you say? "Harry asked, hoping for them to say yes.

"I don’t know,'' ayn said, "It's been so long since I went to one of your shows."

"I'm in "Liam announced happily and then he turned to face his boyfriend" if you want to you. If not we can stay home or do other things."

"It’s okay, I’ve never been to an award show.It could be amazing, I’m in too. If you can get the tickets. Thanks"

"It’s okay "Harry said.

"Well… what is your news? "Louis said looking at Niall and Zayn in front of him.

Niall and Zayn looked at each other, they smiled and Niall put his hand on the table.

"We are going to get married next year in June "Niall said, waiting for a response.

"I proposed to him this weekend "Zayn told them.

"Omg, that’s great. That’s amazing "Louis said almost screaming" how was the proposition."

"Congrats,'' James said, "what good news."

"Yes, I’m so happy for you," Liam said and moved to the other side of the table to hug them.

Harry did the same, leaving a kiss to their heads.

"I’m glad you are going to get married,'' Harry said, "and in a year."

"It was lovely, at least I think so "Zayn started to tell them " We were walking to his parent's house after having dinner outside, just us, it was still a little sunny and we stopped before getting in the car then I walked a step back and kneel. He didn’t expect it, I know it is not too much."

"Is perfect, I didn’t imagine it and It was perfect for me. Is all that matters. "

They kissed while their friends were screaming like little kids. Then all of them started laughing for some seconds.

"Sometimes the smallest things, unprepared or not big, are the ones that are amazing "Liam said.

"Awww, Li that is so romantic " Lou said smiling", My preposition was like that, unprepared and small."

They all remember the moment, since Harry and Louis told it so many times in the last years. It was summer, they were all spending it in the north of California after working so much the last months.

Harry and Louis were out for a little walk when they stopped to kiss and Louis took advantage of that to kneel and proposed.

"Did you get inspired by me? "Louis asked Zayn.

"A little "Zayn said resting his back on the chair and looking at Louis a little afraid", I didn’t know how to do it. I had so many ideas, some of them were big and others weird. It had the ring with me almost every day when we got out for like a month since I brought it on my last trip to Paris this year, and I thought at that moment, why not now? And I did it. I didn’t want to wait for a whole month again.

"I didn’t know that "Niall said" I love our moment even if it’s unprepared"

"It’s a little bit stupid, I’m so creative and then when is something so important I end up doing something like this.

"Is not stupid, and this time you were more nervous and wanted to do something unforgettable. It’s cute that you did that in the end. I love it." Niall said, assuring him.

"I’m happy you love it and say yes."

" I’m happy I helped you "Louis told him, smiling "You could have asked us."

"Yeah, I thought about that option too, but I was confused about the moment. I didn’t know how to do it and I wanted it to be a surprise for all."

"Ohh," Harry said, "It's a good surprise. "

"It is "Liam repeated.

They keep talking about the wedding, the date, the place, the guests and the things they have to plan.

All of them offered their help. Especially Harry and Louis who had experience with planning a wedding.

"We have a lot of things to do," Niall said when they were talking on the couch after the dinner. "I want a small one, not a big one with all your famous contacts. I want one with our family and friends, it's beautiful and intimate. What I love."

Zayn and Harry shared a look.

"I can’t promise you that, but It will be small, "Zayn said", and I want everyone to know I’m going to marry you, because I love you."

They kissed for like a second while Liam started tidying the table.

"It’s okay, we can do it later "James announced to Liam who was triding up the table", we have time. It's early. "

" Yeah, we can help you before we leave," Harry said", let me do it."

Liam didn’t stop so Harry stood up to help him. The rest of the group followed him and they finished with the table and the dishes in record time. Then Harry was off for a couple of minutes until he came back with a smile and his phone in his hand.

"I have the tickets for the show, for all of us "He looked at Zayn and Niall", you two too. I want you there, please."

"Okay, we will be there too. It will be fun, "Niall said.

"Yeah, when is the show? "Zayn asked.

"Next month, in London. I think we have to stay there at ten at night. Then the show will start, my song nomination is one of the first awards "Harry answered him", I hope you love it."

"Who sings the song? "James asked Harry.

"A singer, he is new to the music scene. But he is great, I’ll send the song to you later "Harry said", the title is Golden. "

"I love that song, people request it a lot on the radio "Liam told him", you are going to win, I’m sure."

"I don’t know."

Harry played the song on his mobile for some seconds, and all of them recognize it from the radio. Then he sends the song to his friend’s mails, so they can hear it all the time they want.

A few minutes later, Louis and Harry left the house and Niall and Zayn followed them a couple of minutes later. When they arrived home, they had a short shower and got into bed.

They started living together six months after they dated again, they used Niall’s house leaving Zayn's one for another thing or for other people, like friends or family who needed it.

Niall was resting his head on the pillows, and Zayn was looking at the window and a second later, he turned to Niall who was almost asleep and tired.

"I love you "Niall said.

"I love you too, so much. You’re my love, my inspiration and my world. I love you."

Niall opened his eyes, covered in tiredness, looked at him and kissed his lips.

"I inspired you? That’s cute."

"Yeah, since the day we started dating so many years ago."

"I remember you painted something based on your feelings for me but not like that."

"I got inspired by a lot of things, our love is one of them, "Zayn said", you’re amazing."

" y

ou too "Niall said.

"Can’t believe we have an award show next month "Niall said after a second.

"Yeah, it’s going to be funny. I hope Harry wins and we don’t have to party all night.

They kiss and let the sleep hug them, excited for all the things they have to plan.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading the whole fic. I would love to know what do you think of the fic, please leave a comment (and or Kudos)!


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